AHHHHHHH! SOMEONE SAVE ME! [COME ON MSN]

SO! alot has changed in a short period of time. And i'm gonna start with the good and make it sound like i don't know that the bad is in the future.. So here we go. Last time i left I was on an adventure to find out if I liked these: And it turns out I do. It's like a love/hate relationship. I HATE it but its SO kewl! lol. So the day started off with my bro, sis, Justin, and I going into the park and going on the merry-go-round=] it was kewl. Then we went on that thing that goes 350 feet and like shows you the whole park against Justin's own will because he's afraid of heights. [he is the cutest thing i have ever seen] Then me and my bro and Justin and I went on the scrambler [or whatever it is called these days loll] Then me and my bro went on this one ride that is a carnival ride and it goes in the air and stuff=] I screamed everytime we went to the top. Then... lo and behold... That big orange roller coaster the one you see and it takes your breathe away. The one that scares the living ships out of me.. We were heading towards it. Since Justin was afraid of heights I asked my bro if he would go with me on the HUGE scary im gonna die one. And he said: yes. I was like yes let's go! So I went to get in line for it. And we wait and wait. AND FRICKEN WAIT! [i'm impatient i almost fell asleep a couple of times Jordan kept like leaning on me and like drifting off] And then we get to the front. And it turns out we waited in line for the wrong roller coaster. =S We had waited for the Viper not the big and scary Ragin Bull. I was upset. oh well it still was fun=] Then we ate. came back in walked around. I went on the Giant Drop: I loved the scary feeling it gave me. We got to the top sat there for 6 seconds but it didn't feel like 6 seconds it felt like an eternity. And then it like flys down and I was screaming! But when it flys down I felt like my whole stomach had dissappeared it was weird. Like the whole ground was pulled out from underneath me. And i didn't even feel like I was on a chair. Then I got down and i was like shaking. I hugged Justin. loll.=] And Me and my mom went on the Demon=] lol it was funn. We went on the train. And i didn't want it to stop. I never wanted to get off. Me and Justin sat on a bench all by oursleves. And when we were there i felt like the whole world was gone. I forgot that my mom was like to benches in front. I forgot that some little Asian boy was behind us. The only thing i couldn't forget was Justin and how much I love him and how comfy I was on that train. So it was the end of the day and we wanted to go on like one last ride so we convince everyone! to go on the Whizzer. Even Justin=] The reason he went on was because it was dark. And he couldn't see what it was. But he kept on saying that's like 350 feet! [he is the CUTEST thing EVER] but he couldn't turn around we were like the next ones in line. So we went on and he actually liked it. loll. He said next time he would go on roller coasters with me=] yay i have a coaster buddy. lol. We go back to the car. And my bro and sis fall asleep while me and Justin have a cozy car ride... Uhm yeah then we drop off Justin and I hugged him and said I love you. And we took off. 5 minutes later we got a call from Justin. I called him back but he didn't answer. He called again and we finally started talking: Me:Hey what's up? Him:Your gramma knows Me:What? Him:Your gramma knows how far we went I just sit there. I can't breathe. In this moment I am frozen the whole world stopped. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to scream, run, cry, and hide all at the same time but instead I just sat there like a retard mouth open almost crying. Him:She found some notes that you wrote to me and her and my mom met up at Culvers and read them together. Me:WHAT?! So i'm not gonna tell you all the details but the next morning my grandma confronted me about. She wants Justin and I to "take a break" which means not talking for a week. But i don't see how not talking well help the situation. We already apologized to God. Asked for forgiveness. Talked about where we are drawing the line. We can only hug+kiss. No farther. And if one of us tries the other has to be strong. Because right now. I feel stuck. I mean not stuck in a bad way. I mean Justin and I love eachtoher [with all our hearts] and it's like why did we have to mess that up. I never wanna lose him. He's the guy of my dreams and I love him. So thank God for second chances. But lately this is my life:

1. Endless time with my grandma
2. Video Games
3. TV
4. Trying to read but getting distracted
5. Wanting to write to Justin but ending up not because i'm afraid of snoops
6. Laying there just like off in a different world...

And it sux. WHY? would u take away something [or rather someone] than makes me happy and means the world to me? Like why? I would die for him just so he wouldn't have to go through one ounce of pain. And why would you try to make me miserable. I don't understand.

well im gonna go play Spyro till my eyes bleed. LOVE YOU=] dezzy