Rough Draft Dreaming

Unknown or Nonexistent?

2012-02-08T12:05:00.000-08:00

Poetry

The words waltz

behind my eyes

trot among my brain

cranking machine

pulling out

what it all means

Lately I've been writing a lot of poems.

Most short.

Sweet.

To the damned point.

But, I also have been reading a lot of poetry too.

Emily Dickinson

Jack Spicer

Robert Frost

Mostly the well known.

& that doesn't even cover everyone I've been reading.

& I just have been wondering lately...

WHAT

THE

POINT

Why type these words?

Who reads them?

Who cares?

Does

anyone

even

think

about this complicating, mind blowing, stuff or am I just sitting here wasting

one

tick

tock

of my already busy schedule

to vent to an unknown audience?

The Vow & Forever Alone Day

2012-02-07T09:53:00.000-08:00

Oh Valentine's day...

Every other person sees it as this:

But I see it as this:

Not only because I am literally Forever Alone. But also because I'm fucking FOREVER ALONE.

& while I could rant & rave about how Valentine's Day is just another way for America to further our consumerism & blah, blah, blah...

What it really comes down to is Valentine's Day is a reminder for everyone not in a happy relationship, that "Oh, hey! You!.... Yes, you!... You're alone!" At least that's a rough translation.

& then to add to my Forever Alone-ness, there is one of the saddest looking, sweetest movies coming out this Friday. That movie being, The Vow.

Every time I see the trailers I basically feel like bawling my eyes out.

So I'm probably seeing that on February 14, 2012. With my friends....
who are also single.

-_-

Why Didn't Anyone Tell Me About Bright Eyes?

2012-02-06T19:25:00.000-08:00

I think some of the most beautiful music I've ever heard is....

Bright Eyes'

many albums.

Conor Oberst, the main man in the band, is literally my hero.

His lyrics are just so real.

So straight forward.

So poetically genius.

So much so...

that I felt the need to gush about them on a blog post dedicated all to him.

The only disappointing part is that Bright Eyes recently released their final album, The People's Key on February 15, 2011, Conor's 31st birthday.

I guess I'm just lucky I found this band at all because he started writing his own music when I was only 2 & I basically found him out of sheer luck. I guess fate had known I needed some REAL music in my life.

So, in honor of Conor Mullen Oberst's upcoming 32nd birthday, I thought it would be great to celebrate with some of my favorite song quotes.

"Well I could have been a famous singer

If I had someone else’s voice
But failure’s always sounded better
Lets fuck it up boys, make some noise!"

-Road to Joy

"And I’m not sure what the trouble was that started all of this
The reasons all have run away but the feeling never did
It’s not something I would recommend, but it is one way to live
Cause what is simple in the moonlight, by the morning never is
What’s so simple in the moonlight, now is so complicated"

-Lua

"She said I kissed her different, that all the men her age were mean

Gave me anything I wanted, Oh the generosity

I took all that I could, it was free

Now the sky is a torn up denim and the clouds are just splattered paint

It's a room I'm renovating; it's a name I got to change

If I get out of California I'm going back to my home state

To tell them all that I made a mistake"

-Classic Cars

Everything is Changing

2012-01-20T14:40:00.000-08:00

As the old Avril Lavigne song, Mobile, suggests: everything's changing.

The season is new.

Winter in Wisconsin is in full swing.

It's snowing vigorously

& the snow

& change of seasons has me deep in contemplative thoughts.

I'm wondering if our entire lives are cycles.

Has it always been? :

One

thing

leads

another

which

leads

another

which

leads....

& it just blurs.

Our years become our days. Minutes become hours. & time is nothing. The only thing that is relevant is number of times we cycle.

From happy to anxious to overwhelmed to angry to depressed & back to the beginning again.

& am I the only one who feels this way? ....

cause sometimes it feels that way.

Petition

2012-01-18T20:26:00.001-08:00

Tell our Congress to stop censorship on the internet.

Sign this petition:

https://www.google.com/landing/takeaction/

Is Forever Enough?

2012-01-12T15:46:00.001-08:00

Lately I've been thinking a lot about time...

& how every one of us will never have enough.

You see, I'm kind of discouraged. Our whole world, is so fast paced. We never just sit & breathe. We barely have time to cook dinner.

& then there are things like

Facebook

Skype

Twitter

this

blog.

& I wonder why...

Why am I wasting my time having a virtual life?

When I could be out...

breathing in

fresh

air.

listening to music.

real

music.

with a purpose.

& meaning besides

making you dance.

& it bothers me...

Society just bothers me.

Go Warhawks! :)

2011-10-02T14:28:00.000-07:00

Procrastination.

I feel like everyone I know is a procrastinator at least at some time in their life. I'm experiencing that right now because I'm putting off doing all this stuff I have to do for my classes, which isn't really smart because my room mate & neighbor get home today & I know I'm going to want to hang out & talk with them about what they did all weekend.

I, on the other hand, did absolutely nothing the entire weekend. Well, my family came up for Family Fest & the Whitewater vs. Platteville game but that's about it. Oh, & Whitewater won! :D GOOOO WARHAWKS! 34-14 was the final score.

Oh, & I skyped for 2 hours with Jaymie. Which rocked. I haven't seen her in like forever & I honest to god freaked when I saw her face. It made my whole weekend.

Well, I hope you guys are all enjoying the last few hours of your weekends!

Desiree

Embarrassing?

2011-10-01T00:07:00.001-07:00

It's like 2 AM & I'm actually having some really deep thoughts.

I've been looking back at all my old posts from like 2006 & just laughing my ass off. I can't believe I was so obnoxiously annoying. Why didn't you guys say anything to me? Were we all that annoying or was it just me? Either way I can't believe it.

Anyways, I ended up stumbling across an old friend of mine's blog. Her name is Courtney. We were like best friends in middle school. I was reading her newest post from like a day ago & it was so funny to me how much people change, how much we grow up. I used to be the queen of misspelling things & while I still do make spelling errors, I actually really like typing correctly. Her post was actually totally deep & it made me think of how shallow we are as kids. (Even though I still consider myself a kid!) Every post I made was about boys & how hot I thought they were or complete mushyness with my ex boyfriend Justin, that by the way, makes me wanna gag now.

I look back & see how insecure I was, how attention starved, how immature & just laugh. I had so much to learn. & I still do.

After reading all that embarrassment I caused myself I almost thought about deleting & starting completely over. But then I remembered my middle school self thinking about how cool it would be to have the same blog & be in college & be able to look back at all my memories.

Well, I've decided I'm not going to delete that stuff. But not for that reason. I'm not deleting it because even if I do look like a complete idiot in it, it really shows how much a person can change. It shows how over time people can redeem themselves. How people can grow into themselves. Get over insecurity. Grow into a strong person. & I want people to see the transformation I've made.

Okay, I'll stop rambling:)

Desiree

I'm in COLLEGE...

2011-09-30T17:11:00.000-07:00

Hey guys,

I bet you all forgot I even existed if you're even reading this at all. Sooo, I really need to update this blog. Lol. It says in my profile that I'm 16... I'm 18 guys! A little off. It's so weird I still remember the effing password to this account. It's like a miracle because I can barely remember my Facebook & twitter passwords & I use those daily. Anyways lemme get you caught up.

First & foremost. I'm currently in COLLEGE. Yes, you heard me. I didn't drop out of high school. Lol. But for real. I really love college. High school was a nightmare & I feel like college is this whole new world. (No Aladdin reference intended.) I've made a lot of new friends & I feel like we've known each other forever. My roomie is super cool & we get along really well.

I'm involved in Circle K International, which is this volunteer organization on campus, along with Habitat for Humanity, which helps to build homes for people who can't afford it. I really like both of those so far.

These are the classes I'm taking for first semester:

Women's Studies
Ethnic Politics
World of the Arts
Individuals & Society
Math 143 (Math for Business & Social Science)
New Student Seminar

Yes, they are all really random classes. I just picked a bunch of random stuff that sounded interesting to me & so far my favorite is Individuals & Society.

I think the best thing about the whole college life is FREEDOM. Like there is so much of it. You can hang with whoever you want, whenever you want, wherever you want, however you want. You can wear, eat, speak, & pretty much anything you can imagine however you want to. It's kick ass.

I still don't know my majoy but I'm in between the following:

Nursing
Psychology
Sociology

Isn't it weird how the girl who used to be deathly afraid of needles suddenly wants to be a nurse? Odd. Anyways, I'm really loving college even though I do miss my family & bestie like crazy. So glad my family is coming up this weekend for Family Fest.

Well Love You All!

Desiree :)

I wake up feeling like P. Diddy

2010-03-06T18:39:00.000-08:00

Dearest Reader:)
I just want you to know, I had a great stuffed Saturday. I woke up in the morning... feeling like P Diddy. Just kidding. Lol. I woke up in the morning at like 7ish. I just kind of lazed around the whole time. Calling my grandma repeatedly to see if she was going to let me go today and if not what I needed to clean if I couldn't. It turns out she let me go to Justin's house.

We started off by going to Music Go Round. It was cool but Justin kept wandering all over the place and then I got bored. Then we got Burger King on the way home and it was cheap as a sheep! Lol :) Sorry inside joke. We took our Burger King back to his place. (Yay for the kids meal! Lol.)

We rented Up on demand and it was totally cute. I loved it. I actually cried. Lol. We played guitar after that and I know G Major & A Major & E Major. Now I'm pretty much a rock star. I just thought you should know that.

Justin had to go to work then so his mom and I dropped him off and I helped her make snacks for a party she was going to. It was a fun day overall. But now I'm super exhausted because when I got home my grandparents and our neighbor all went out to eat. And I ate all this crazy stuff.

Quick Catch-Up [stalk me]

2010-03-06T07:49:00.000-08:00

Hey Bloggers!
I've been pretty super busy! I really am busy right now too. There are a million things I should be doing but you know me ;) I miss blogging. I really need to catch y'all up with me but that would take a year. Not much has changed. Justin & I are still together. We're on our 20th month. In 4 more it will be 2 years.

School is crazy as ever and I just found out my Algebra 1 credit wouldn't count because I took a survey course so now I'm working my butt off so I can get into Algebra 2. I'm taking 3 math classes this year all because my schools disorganization. It's totally frustrating but it's either that or take remedial in college. As if I wanna pay for that. So what can I do but work my butt off?

Jaymie & I are still bffs even though we barely talk anymore. We barely text. Which is weird. You'd think if I got a cell that she could always reach me at we'd talk MORE. But she's really busy and so am I and we just clash a lot of the time. She got her new phone of the week. (LOL. I always joke with her that she gets a new phone every week). This time it's the Iphone. I haven't even seen it yet though so yeah. Lol..

My grandma and I are somewhat better. We don't talk that much or anything but we're pretty tolerant of eachother. Except for the occasional fight. Lol. She's actually been letting me go to Justin's house for the day. With his mother home of course. We have fun and just chill. He's been trying to teach me guitar. And I SUCK. Lol.

:)Well. There's nothing else I can say that will get you anymore caught up. I added my facebook badge in the sidebar >>> So feel free to stalk me ;) That way you'll always know what's up with me even if I neglect my blog. I miss you guys! ;)
Love you all,
Dezzy ;)

White People Watch Madea. I'm Living Proof.

2010-01-31T17:40:00.000-08:00

Dear Readers,
I love you all dearly. Get ready for a randomly random post:
Dezzy

I haven't laughed that much in a very long time. I haven't smiled so much either. So let me tell you why I'm all smiling and laughing and all this craziness. Well... Saturday afternoon and night went really good. My mom and I hung out and got stuff for scrapbooking and while we were in Hobby Lobby we seen ads for a cake decorating class and we kinda wanna do it together. I think it would be fun even though I have a feeling we'd be the only ones whose cakes are looking jacked up and everyone would laugh at us. Or we'd be laughing at ourselves and we'd get kicked out. Lol:)

We finally got to her house and just scrapbooked. I got 4 pages done in the whole day. I love scrapbooking. It's really fun. I guess since I've always liked making posters for school it's like that but more fun since you don't have to find out useless information. You just need pictures and memories and imagination. Creativity. And insight for what to do on the page. I'm not really a pro but I think next time I scrapbook I'll take pictures of all the pages I have done and post them for you. You can see what I've done:)

My brother was way too hyper active disorder to sit still for two seconds without making an odd mexican voice so he ended up not scrapbooking with us. Which we didn't mind all too much I mean table space is a luxury in scrapbooking.

After we scrapbooked we went out and got supper. Which was Qdoba for my mom and I (I swear we are the most loyal customers) and Culver's for the siblings. Then we rented Madea Goes To Jail. Yeah you weren't really expecting that. A bunch of random white people renting Madea videos. But it was totally funny. I laughed so much my throat hurt. The only thing I didn't like was the singing which was slightly repulsive. We fast forwarded all the songs.

Then today. I had an offertory and was singing worship team. Which usually isn't the best equation for happiness but I played a super simple song and this one guy in my church was like that song you played was lovely I just closed my eyes and listened to the music so that was really sweet. I didn't mess up once and I didn't cry afterward which is good because i had to hand my grandma my piano book and walk right up to sing with the team.

Church was good we talked about selfishness and it really hit home. Sometimes at church you feel like the sermon has nothing for you personally. Your thinking oh that's for (insert name here). But we are all born with selfish intents so it was really directed toward everyone.

After church I had subway and Justin came over. We played rockband and sat around in my basement playing around with checkers and other things. It was the most fun day of my whole week. We cuddled some and I miss him already. It was one of those days where we rarely just got left alone. I loved it.

Justin had to work at 5 so we raced him to Huhot. By then Sharon had come over and we brought her with us. Last time she was with, we all ate there at Huhot after dropping him off but this time I got told it was too expensive. But it was okay because we went to the Applebee's by Tinseltown. My grandma and I shared the appetizer sampler and I had mango flavored lemonade and Sharon had some sandwhich. Then we all split some desert (dessert?) with a cookie and oreos and fudge and vanilla ice cream and whipped cream. It was super good.

I was sooo stuffed afterward I didn't want to go anywhere else but we ended up at the Best Buy by Woodmans. I guess our washer and dryer don't work good and there's some sale at Best Buy. So we went there and I wandered around. Looked at computers and laptops and 100 dollar headphones and books and CDs and then I ended up over by Rockband. When I walked up some small looking mexican boy looked like he was trying to work it and when I walked up he stopped, was embarassed looking, and walked away. So I picked up the guitar and got the thing to work just fine. He came back and I asked him if he wanted to play with me. So he grabbed a guitar and I added him in. It was funny because he looked at the wrong side and failed out. And then I was like you know your that side right? And he was like ohhh! And I was like let's restart. :)It was fun.

And that pretty much sums it all up. Now let's hope that my horrid school doesn't ruin my great weekend. Lol. ;)
Dezzy<3

Lowes, Sam's Club, and Pier 1. New dating hot spots.

2010-01-30T07:10:00.001-08:00

Dear Bloggers,
You are cordially invited to read this post.
Love,
Dezzy:)

Lol. Okay so I'm weird today. I'm in a really good mood for some reason which is especially weird because I was up at 7:30 and it's Saturday. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I stayed home from school yesterday. I wasn't feeling really well so I slept like the whole day. Oh and I finished up another book and am 1/3 of the way through the next:).

The book I'm currently reading is Life As We Knew It. I was kind of wary because I'm not usually the type of person who likes those sci-fi like shows with the world ending due to a catastrophe but in my haste at the bookmobile I grabbed anything with a good cover. Yes, I know don't judge a book by it's cover but seriously who doesn't judge a book by it's cover? Actually that's usually how I find the books I like, their cover. I'm usually drawn in by a smooth cover or nice texture or nice color usage and then I read the back and I'm like okay lets do it! Lol. Okay maybe I don't say that because if I did I think I would've gotten kicked out. I mean it's the library, people. But anyways. I really didn't think I'd like the book but it's turning out to be good. It reads like a diary so it makes it better. She has a life much like mine. Fighting with her parents one day, then being all nicey nicey the next so it's deff. relatable. Lol.

Not much planned for the weekend. I'm really boring like that. I'm hanging out with my mom and siblings today. I swear my mom is my best friend because she's like the only person I see every week. Yeah my grandparents but I live with them so they don't count. Anyways, my mom is pretty much the only person I hang out with besides my boyfriend. Which I'm okay with because my mom is cool. She could pretty much pass as being my age. People always think we're friends. Or sisters.

Then Sunday I'm hoping to hang out with my boyfriend. The last time we had a date it was at Lowes, Sam's Club, and Pier 1 Imports. Lol. Yeah let me tell you about how odd our relationship is. Well my grandma is super uptight about us seeing eachother. I'm only allowed one day out of the week. I should really say weekend because other than church, and piano lessons I'm not allowed out on week days. And even one day of the week is too much in her eyes. She says I shouldn't date. I forget why. Something about playing the field which in my book roughly translates go wherever with whoever you want or in more blunt words, Be a slutty girl who dates everyone. Lol. But yeah. I ask to go to the mall and she's like well Sharon and I need to go to Sam's Club. Which is on the way to the mall and on the way to his house. So we are stuck with them. Which turned out to be fun. But it's like I wish I could have a normal Friday night. Movies. Dinner. Date. You Know? I feel deprived. Lol

But yeah. We have fun no matter what. And it doesn't matter where we go. As long as we're together. I better go because I need to shower and I have this little boy on my facebook asking me a billion questions and if I don't answer right away hes all: hello? HELLO? are u ther? loll.
Have a great weekend:)
Dezzy <3

You're My New Obsession

2010-01-28T15:15:00.000-08:00

Hey Everyone:)
Just thought I'd start you off with a picture of me since It's kind of been awhile since you've seen my face. Lol. Well It's been a while since my last post and since last time I found out about a little something folks call the library. Now if your like most people. You probably think I'm joking around with you right now. But I'm dead serious. The library is my new obsession. It's all I want to do. It's my new obsession girl. I feel on top of the world. Okay sorry. Ahahaha:) For those of you who are totally like what is she talking about. Listen to La la la by LMFAO and then we'll talk. Lol. Anyways, back to the library. Lol :)

Well we're doing a research paper in school and we were required to get books to use as sources. So it's not like I'm gonna go out and just buy countless books on Emily Dickinson because that'd be dumb when you can just borrow them. And this is where the library comes in.

Now I know what your thinking. Why is the library such a big deal? To that I would reply: if you don't know now, you'll never know. Lol:) So I'm not going to try to explain the joys of not needing to buy every book you want to read and all the other little perks of libraries because I don't want to be totally nerdy. Or maybe I do?

Yeah, I changed my mind. I actually do wanna get all nerdy on you and explain why the library rocks. LMFAO:). (lame i know everyone that is reading this is like good god here she is talking about a bunch of books.) But you have to understand for a really long time the library was forbidden. Like dead serious. It's like I wasn't allowed to even say the word 'library' before. It all started way back when we got huge library fines because we lost the books and had to pay crazy amounts. So my grandma was really mad. And was like no more library EVER! I really didn't care because even though I read, I didn't read as much as now. I just kinda checked the books out and skimmed the pages. But anyways. I went this last Saturday and we got a new library card much to my grandma's dismay.

And now I'm like obsessively reading. I swear it's a miracle I can even do my homework. Since the last time I've posted I finished up The Boyfriend List. And I completed two completely different books that I will tell you a little about. The first one is So B. It and the other is Freefall and I'm on to my next book. I finished So B. It in one day. Freefall I got yesterday and finished today before school ended. Anyways, The Boyfriend List was really good but things weren't completely resolved for me. I think there might even be a sequel. Lol.

Then So B. It was super good. I'd never even heard of it before but it's a book about a girl who lives with her mentally disabled mother and her agoraphobic (fear of leaving their house) neighbor. It's really good. I recommend.

Then Freefall was really exceptionally good too. I'd never heard of it either but it had me addicted. Like I was reading it last night. And I kept telling myself only one more chapter, only one more chapter. But then I'd be reading like 10 chapters. Lol. It's about a boy named Luke and his best friend Hayden. Luke always really gave into whatever Hayden wanted and was the kind of guy who never really said what he felt but let Hayden call the shots. Hayden's the typical big guy on campus. Then this new boy Russell comes and pretty much steals Hayden's girlfriend and upsets the way his life is going. Russell got to join the varsity team that Hayden was captain of, and in order to play on varsity every member had to jump off a cliff near the school into the water below. Hayden and Luke go with him to watch his jump. And Hayden pushes Russell and he falls...and dies. Then Luke is left to decide whether he should stay loyal to his best friend or not. It's really great.

Well I better get going. P.S. I revised my music so enjoy ;)
Dezzy <3

By The Time You Read This I'll Be Dead.

2010-01-20T15:57:00.000-08:00

Hey Everyone.
Well It's been awhile since I've posted two consecutive days. It's like an accomplished goal. Next on my list of goals is to not stress about stuff so much. I seriously stressed myself out so much last night I think I had a slight panic attack. I felt light headed and dizzy. I could like barely breathe and my heart was all racing. Yeah. Scary. Anyways, I just got done reading a book entitled By the Time You Read This I'll Be Dead. It was a really interesting book. The book is about a girl named Daelyn. She find this site on the internet meant for people that are committed to killing themselves. Daelyn has attempted to kill herself multiple times and each time failed. The last time she tried, she swallowed bleach and ended up disintegrating her throat so her vocal cords don't work and she's practically a mute. She pretty much just blogs about her life and reveals more and more instances where she has been bullied. It's really sad actually. It really showed how much words can affect people. It also taught me countless other things about bullying and suicide.

Now I'm on to the next book. It's entitled The Boyfriend List. It's one of those books that's annoying to have on you when people around. Like just today I can't even tell you the number of people who either a) looked at the cover and said "pfft the boyfriend list!" b) laughed at the cover c) look at me as if i'm odd. Maybe that's just my school. I don't know. Anyways, the book is really good so far. I'm maybe halfway. It's pretty much about how this girls life is in shambles and she's having panic attacks so she ends up seeing a counselor. I like the way it reads to. With little footnotes and crazy stories. That's another thing I hate, when you laugh out loud over something funny in a book and people look at you like you belong in a special class.

Another great book that I've been meaning to do a serious review on is White Oleander. The book is by Janet Fitch. I seriously am in LOVE with this book. It is just pure art and I've never read a book with such rich language. Okay I need to save this for the review but anyways. You should read it. It was an Oprah book awhile back so if you don't believe me, take it from the big O. Lol.

Random topic but I've been cooking lately. There's something nice about cooking. I like being in the kitchen. (I'd like it even more if some of my family knew how to clean up after themselves.) I haven't cooked too much. With school and all. But to this date I've cooked. Upside down pizza pie. Smoked cheddar macaroni. Lasagna. Quesadillas. And maybe something else. I'm pretty excited to make dinner for my future family. Let's just hope they aren't picky like Justin. Lol.

Well I better go now :] I have some literature homework I'm putting off.
Love,
Dezzy

13/13/13???

2010-01-19T16:47:00.000-08:00

Dear World,
Sometimes I wonder why I even blog when I'm addressing this to the world, but in reality I could count the number of people who read this on one hand. And I realize it's because I'm weird and I kind of like writing about my life. Say I'm conceited or self centered but it's interesting to see how I've changed. Like look at me I'm actually trying to spell things correctly. I used to despise spelling correctly in blog posts. Okay enough annoying analysis of pointless things.

Happy Late 2010. It's kind of weird. 2010. Even still while we're halfway through our first month. It's like futuristic sounding. Anyways, I've started my year off well. I hope everyone else has. It's my junior year in high school this year. And one of my hardest years, thanks to my slacking. Note to the handful that do read this: Slacking gets you nowhere, so hit it hard the first time or it will hit you hard when you have to do it again.

I'm getting very, very, VERY excited to be out of high school. Let's just say no one will be more happy than me on graduation day. I'm starting to try to plan my life. But it's so hard. I keep putting it off. But I know I need to at least start thinking. I feel like the only one in my junior class who doesn't know their major or some idea of what they want to do. My mom says I should be a nurse. Even though just the thought of needles makes me...Hey! I don't even feel grossed out! Okay well usually the thought of needles sticking into someone skin creeps me out but I guess I'm having a good day or something. I don't know if I could exactly deal with being a nurse but you never know, people change.

That's been the main thing on my mind lately. My huge to-do list. I'm kind of overwhelmed. Before I can even begin to live my own life I need to learn to drive. I need a car to learn to drive. And to have a car I need a job. Because when i get my own car I'll need to pay for the gas and insurance. I'm so desperate for a job I'd work anywhere. Seriously. As long as I get money. Not that I would spend any of this money. That's one thing that isn't different. I still don't spend my own money very easily. Anyways... 100% of my money would go straight into my nonexistent savings account. I'm already somewhat worried about my funeral payments. My unborn childrens college. The rent for the place I don't live in. Whew. I need a job. or two...

Lol. I know the handful that do read my blog have left by now. Sorry for this particularly boring post but It's a way to let out my thoughts.

Justin and I are thinking of postponing getting married for a little bit later. Not because we don't love eachother or anything. Just because of lack of money and stuff. And really there's no rush. I have my whole life to be married to him. It doesn't have to be 11-11-11. I mean it could be 12-12-12 or 13-13-13. Uhmmm wait? Lol. My bad totally forgot there isn't a 13th month. Lol :)

Anyways I better go now because I have a piano lesson.
Love you all!
Dezzy

Quotes From Christy :]

2009-11-22T16:15:00.000-08:00

"God takes us as we are. We should not try to change ourselves before we have a relationship with God. We need to give ourselves to him completely with all of our sins. He will work in us." -Christy

These are some of the best words that anyone has ever said to me. I don't know how long I've been waiting to just hear those words. I've been waiting for so long for someone to tell me that God just wants me. And believe me I've been told that God wants me. But I thought it was always followed by a list of conditions. Rules. Stuff that I had to do.

But I'm so glad for once that I am wrong. I feel so happy that I'm crying. Things happen at such strange times. One second I'm bummed that Justin and I were fighting and the next Christy, a lady who goes to my church, asked me what we fought about because it was my status on facebook. And she talked to me. And we were talking about relationships and fighting and then about sin. And it all just came out.

And she said that to me.

And now I know that I don't have to try to be something I'm not to have a relationship with God. God wants me.

I love Christy :] And that pretty much sums it all up.

Gonna go paint my nails with my grandma :]
Love
Dezzy

Having My Metal Death Trap Off

2009-11-21T14:07:00.000-08:00

Life is great with teeth that are straight. :] After a traumatic 2 hour long braces removal appointment all my dreams of having my metal death trap off, came true. Now those ^ are my teeth. And I'm actually kind of weirded out about not having braces. It's odd. My teeth feel so...soft. So breakable. Not scratchy. Not metal. And most of all not hurtful. I'm almost more self-concious without braces then I was when I had them on. Lol :] But I'm just glad those puppies are gone! :D

My first meal without braces was Qdoba Nachos. :] The funny thing is that nachos was my first meal with braces on :] ahaha. I ate over at my mom's house and we hung out and played this little handheld electronic Hangman game with my little brother and sister. Then we left for the 7 something showing of New Moon. Which was sold out...
But it was okay because she bought tickets online! Thank Jesus! :] And it was such an amazing movie! It was sooo much better than Twilight. I loved it. All my mom and I could say on the way home was: It was sooo good! :] lol. We wanna see it again when it comes out in the value cinema.

I'm just so happy today, I had to blog. It's like I have too much happiness and energy to fit into a status off of Facebook because of course they only allow so many characters per status :] and beleive me sometimes it's hard to restrain myself from talking too much. Lol.

So today started with another adjustment by my wonderful chiropractor and then an ultra sound which really just feels like a massage with a bunch of warm goopy stuff on you. Then after that I got dropped off at home by Michelle, because my grandparents were helping my great grandma move. :] I got home and called Justin and woke him and his best friend, Nathan, up. I told him we HAD to hang out tomorrow. [aka. Sunday] But he said he had to work tomorrow and today. So I was like you should have Nathan drive over here and pick me up and we can all go and hang at the mall together.

Well I ended up paying Nathan 5 dollars as bribery but he picked me up. ;]. Then it turned out that Nathan's mom called and asked Justin and Nathan if they could move her loveseat upstairs so she could put up the Christmas tree. So we all rode over to Nathan's house, me in the backseat in my own world, and them in the front talking about, well, various interesting topics :] lol. And Justin and Nathan moved the love seat while I sat on the couch talking to one of the cutest little Mexican boys ever. :] He was telling me all about Left For Dead 2 and how it has 2 black guys instead of the 1 black guy in the first one. Aha. He was so funny just talking and talking to me:] Gah, that kid was cute. I also had the pleasure of meeting Nathan's super cute chihuahua, Nacho. It was cool ;]

Then we finally drove off to the mall and parked in the entrance by Talbots aka Tallbutts. ;] lol. We wandered around and spent time in Hot Topic looking at hats and listening to music and then we got one of their rewards cards which is really cool because you can get points if you even just go there! :] Which I do, like a lot. We walked around the mall randomly and Justin stopped and bought him and I some pretzel sticks from the amazing pretzel place.

Then we had to go because Justin had to work. So Nathan brought me back home and I said bye to Justin and now here I am. :] lol. I'm really glad I actually like Nathan. I know some girls who hate their boyfriends best friend and it isn't good so I like it that we get along well :] or as they say in France... s'entendre bien! :D All in all I'm having a great time without braces so far!
Love you ;]
Dezzy

I Gotta Feeling :] That Tonights Gonna Be a GREAT Night :D

2009-11-20T10:44:00.000-08:00

Holy Cow:]
I'm super duper alajuper excited! And I know if you are any normal person you are probably wondering why on earth there are teeth with braces on them at the top of this post and why did I start off my post by praising cows! Well, those teeth just happen to be mine! :] Well not for too much longer! I'm delighted to tell you, That, I, Desiree will be getting her braces off in about an hours time!!!!! :] I'm just sooo excited. You have no idea. I have suffered the hardship that is known as orthodontia for 5 years. Yeah no joke. I had to have surgery on a tooth and I was the most disobedient patient in the history. But I am so stinkin' excited :D I'm just beeming! Ahhhhh! I'll have to post a picture of my newly braces free teeth later!

Well not only am I getting my braces off today, but I also plan on seeing my mommy. We plan on hanging with my brother and sister and then later my mom and I are going to a 9 o clock showing at the movies. I'm thinking we will see New Moon which is amazing because I really want to see it. :] Then Saturday I have an early morning chiropractic appointment to further fix my neck. You see it got "stuck" lol. because the other day. I was just sitting here. And I moved my neck and it popped and it was almost unbearable to even move. But I went today to my chiropractor and he cracked it and it was the most AMAZING neck crack of my life. Like it cracked a billion times all at once. It had me like praising God. ahahahaha. All in all...I have a feeling that tonight, this weekend, is going to be a great one :]
:D I'm getting my braces off!!!!!
Dezzy ;]

Pickup Lines

2009-11-09T16:54:00.001-08:00

Ahhh pickup lines. The lowest form of humor known to man. Actually I take that back, my chemistry teacher would have to be one of the least funniest people I know. Anyways...Though pickup lines are stupid and super cheesy some of them can actually be pretty amusing.

Examples:
Are you religious?... Good, because I'm the answer to your prayers
Did you have Campbell's soup today? (she answers yes/no) Because you're lookin' mmm... mmm... good!
Can I get a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
Do you want to see a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror)
I can read palms (write your number on her hand) Oooh It says your gonna call me soon!
And my favorite :]
Hershey makes a million kisses a day and I'll I'm asking for is one.

Who would ever want to meet their future wife/husband off of a pickup line? Lol. I mean those words aren't even their own. Be original :] Don't steal things off of websites. Lol. I sound pretty hypocritical because I stole all those off of bored.com's website. This week is going to be pretty good. This Thursday and Friday we get out at 11:30 thanks to parent-teacher conferences. On Friday Jade and I are going to HuHot Mongolian Grill [the place my boyfriend works at] to eat lunch while our parents are talking to our teachers about what amazing perfect students we are :] I am doing a lot better grade-wise this year. I have been actually trying and stuff. Lol. And here's proof of it:

Report Card Quarter 1: Concert Choir: 96 = A French III: 89 = B Chemistry: 95 = A Math Connections: 100 = A+ Show Choir: 100 = A+ American Literature: 96 = A U.S. History: 77 = C- Worldviews: 93 = A-

So all in all the only thing I'm stinky at is history! Which we already knew ;]
Better get going
Nighty Night!

Warning: This is my 300th Post.

2009-11-08T13:07:00.000-08:00

Have you ever read those stupid warnings they put on the back of things?

Examples:
Hair Coloring
Do not use as an ice cream topping.
Komatsu Floodlight
This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark
Mattress
Warning: Do not attempt to swallow
Children's Superman Costume
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
And one of my personal favorites:
Package of Fisherman's Friend throat lozenges:
Not meant as substitute for human companionship.

Lol. I feel like everyday people warn me about things that are obvious you shouldn't. Don't do drugs. Don't drink and drive. Everyday we are bombarded with directions on what to do and what not to do. And sometimes we can grow numb to what people direct us to do. Suggestions for our life. Some our good and some not so much. My little suggestion is just keep your ears open to some of those people because everyone needs a little direction :] I'm not gonna get all crazy and tell you to obey it or anything. Lol. But just consider some of what they say.

Today church went well but during the offertory I was reminded of my traumatizing experience last week. For those unaware I played the piano for my church and I was sooo shaky! I messed up! And It just wasn't the best experience. Lol. I'm hoping to see my best friend, Jaymie since I'm not seeing boyfriend, Justin today.
Talk to you soon [hopefully!]
Love, Desiree [:

Funny Random Thoughts :]

2009-11-07T17:03:00.000-08:00

A lot of people have funny random thoughts.
Examples: Do stairs go up or down? Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped space but when we use a handicapped toilet it's okay? If heat rises, shouldn't Hell be cold? If something "goes without saying" why do people still say it? [more random thoughts @ www.goodquotes.com/funnythoughts.htm]
Well I have my own thought and though it's not funny and amusing like those, it does make me think. Who established what is beautiful? Like how can one person dictate what millions of people wear, and look like? And who is the real judge of beauty? Does beauty even exist? The Dictionary.com definition of beauty is the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind. Key word being mind. Is beauty all in our head? Is it something we make up just to please ourselves or others? How can their be one definition of what is beautiful when each of us are made differently? When I looked up images of "beauty" I got hundreds of pictures of thin girls. The ones you see in magazines and on billboards and runways. But who says they are beautiful?

Another thing that amuses me are stupid laws.
Examples: In Wisconsin you are allowed to marry your house. In Wisconsin it is illegal to display an unclothed mannequin in a store window. In Chicage, Illinois it is illegal to fish in pajamas. In Illinois it is illegal for barbers to use their fingers to apply shaving cream to customers' faces.
[ Find more of your states laws @ www.bored.com/crazylaws/ ] The thing that gets me is when did this stuff seriously become a problem? I read this one that said it was against the law to use goldfish as bribery to play Bingo. I was cracking up and then later I was just like...is that necessary? :] People these days crack me up!

On another completely different note I've been doing great :] Super busy with school, show choir, and other shananigans. Christmas is coming so soon! I cannot wait! Things on my Christmas List would include:
Christmas List:

Purses or Bags
Kindle/Nook
Ipod
Books [any]
Perfume
Jewelry
Movies [really good ones]
Rent [specifically]
The Rent soundtrack
Laptop

That's my top 10...so far :] Thanksgiving is coming up very soon and I've been attempting to make a thankful list everyday. I suggest it if you are like ugh life sucks! :] Some of the things that have made the list repeatedly are:

Pop Tarts
Baked Potatoes w/ Butter
Justin
Jaymie
The Phone

I better get going ;] Night and Bye!

Dezzy

Dream

2009-09-28T15:54:00.000-07:00

Sometimes

dream.

dream

you happy.

dream

you out of

your past

as big is this

whole town.

dream

you happy

with me,

rather than

with your

memories

of who I

used to be.

dream

you

over

and

over

again.

But.

Sometimes

I wake

and realize.

They are all

...

just dreams.

But yet

dream.

Questions and Answers

2009-09-28T15:49:00.000-07:00

Your words

shiver

down my spine

like cold

December

winds

blow.

When

did I become

a criminal?

I ask.

When

did I stop being

your perfect little

sunshine?

You ask.

All the questions.

None of the answers.

Sick

2009-09-28T15:23:00.000-07:00

Sick

of feeling

like a slut

like someone

else's trash

Sick

of believing

all those little

lies you feed me with

cram them down my

throat everyday

Sick

of not even liking

myself because of

the way you treat me

Just Sick

of being

Sick

If I Could...

2009-09-25T17:15:00.001-07:00

If I could be anyone

right now

I'd be the girl

with as many

best friends

as there are

days of the week.

I'd be the girl

with the

homecoming sash

hugging her tighter

than her low rise jeans

that fit her so well

it's unfair.

I'd be that girl

who doesn't

have to try

to be beautiful.

I'd be the girl

who everyone knows.

who everyone has

in common.

I'd be happy

and free

nothing would hold

me down

If I could be anyone

right now

I wish I could

just be me...

Random Pictures :] (Read The Actual Blog Below Please)

2009-09-19T19:39:00.000-07:00

A Condition Called: I Need a Book-itis

2009-09-19T14:39:00.000-07:00

Hey There:
As if you didn't know. I have been in school so I'm sorry I haven't written as much. I miss blogging. It's a serious let down not being able to alot.

Random Facts:

You can find me on Facebook. Please do! Desiree Orth :] Search Me!
I'm taking voice lessons now.
Learning guitar from Justin out of a book.
In show choir this year.
Piano lessons got cancelled this week.

The inspiration for this post is that: I have time :] lol. Lame inspiration I know but you gotta take what you can get. Lately I have been very busy with some of the stuff prementioned in that list. And some that I didn't list. This last Sunday I was banned from my church picnic but I ended up going to Culver's and Justin's house [don't get to excited my grandma came to!]. Even though she was there it was alot of fun. I had a grilled cheese with cheese curds since I'm on a vegatarian phase [which I will talk more about later] and Justin had a bacon cheeseburger- that pig and cow abuser. Lol just kidding. Then we shared a mint oreo concrete mixer and it was heaven in a plastic container. lol. Then I met his new kitty Obi and we played with him in his kitchen.

Now the rest of my week has been pretty uneventful and that leads us up to today. Where we had a Wildtree/Lia Sophia party. Which I thought was gonna be a drag but ended up turning out pretty good thanks to food.

Finally the reason I'm vegatarian:
MY mom and I watched animal abuse videos and it was horrific and meat just seems kind of gross to me now. Who wants to eat an animals flesh? yuck. The only temptation I've had was due to beef jerky when Jaymie and I had this horrible rushed trip to Walgreens a few days ago. LOL :]

Otherwise my experiences as a vegatarian have been good. I don't over eat now because in all reality there's not much in the environment I live in that I can eat. Which is actually helping me to possibly start the road to losing some weight.

I recently almost went crazy due to a condition called: I Need a Book-itis. Lame disease name I know! That's what I said. But anyways I ended up finding some books at the Christian book store down the road from my house. Three actually. One about a schizophrenic which is already finished. One about a drug abuser. One by Ted Deker. Then later in the same week I got more Books!!!! AHHH! :] Obsessive I know! These were from Barnes + Noble and were just purchased yesterday after my mom and I went to a vegan/vegatarian place on the East side of Milwaukee [that by the way was delish]. I got three books there too. I just can't wait to read them all. Ones called What would Emma do? The next is called The Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac. The last is called.... uhmmm. I forgot. LOL. Tomorrow is church and stuff though so I better go

Sorry about the lameness of this post :S

LOVE YOU
Dezzy

Mr. Jorotone Johnson Sr. is not the father of Juicy

2009-09-01T12:27:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys!
Alot of updates on me, myself, and Irene ;] lol (unsure what I'm talking about read the post entitled Mission F.D.O.S.)

I still love Nirvana. I thought they were just an old school band people used to listen to but I actually like them. And school isn't as terrible as it was going. I've changed my attitude. I'm kind of working on that. During school we had this assignment in American Lit. that was to write in our journals our own personal toast to change. The idea was based off Freedom Writers if any of you have seen that movie it's one of their journal things to write about. We have journals like them and she [meaning one of my many favorite teachers Mrs. Masnik] let's us write anything we want. Without turning us in! She even said we could swear. Which for the record I haven't done yet. lol. But anyways. I wrote in my journal that I want to try to change my attitude and try in school alot harder.

That's another reason I haven't been posting as often. I've actually been trying this thing called doing my homework. I'm going to see how that work out for me. :] lol. I actually kind of like it. I'm really proud of my work. I finished this project and when I handed it in my teacher said she loved the way it looked. I was so proud. lol.

I actually did not go to school today though. I had a Dr. Appointment up in a town that's about an hour away to see a specialist at about 9:30. Since school starts at 8:00 I'm like it's not even worth it to go for half an hour. So I stayed home. [Funny today school actually started for everyone else, I just have to be different don't I?] I was an hour and a half late for the appointment and doctors always take forever. They needed me to get X-rays and bloodwork done and stuff so we left that doctor to go see more. They are doing other tests on me later. I don't want it to come down to that so pray for me and stuff I don't really want to get into details it's kind of personal those who know already need to, those who don't sorry there's a reason for that. Anyways. They had to take three X-rays when they only normally would need to take one. Being tall has it's let downs. They can't even cram your digestive system into one picture;]. I cried during the bloodwork and got promised ice cream that I have yet to see. My grandma said we could get some tonight. I thought I was gonna pass out when I saw my own scarlett red blood filling about 6 flasks on the table next to me. I fell asleep in the car. Got Panera Bread which was VERY good. Haven't had that in awhile.

Then I came home and watched those cheesy court shows while eating it. They are so outrageous it makes me laugh. I love watching the paternity ones. I don't know why. It's just so drama-licious. It's funny to me. They like get the guy that checks your DNA crap on a vieo conference with them and then the judge is all "Hi how are you today? Uhm do you happen to have the results to that paternity test?". I swear to God it goes like that! It's funny as hell. I'm just waiting for him to say no someday. Then he's all in his monotone " Mr. Jorotone Johnson Sr. is not the father of Juicy" LMAO! I swear to GOD the kid's name was Juicy. I was like is that ghetto-fab or what?

Better go now though! People are getting out of their first days of school and I can't wait to hear about it.
P.S. Happy 14 Monthaversary
P.S.S. Happy Senior Year Justin! 2 more and it's just you and me!
P.P.S.S. Jaymie hang in there UNDERCLASSMAN!
P.P.S.S.S. I won't leave you all alone btw Jaymie! We will hang out all the time!
P.P.P.S.S.S. Thanks for all the reading and comments!

Love you!
Dezzy

Mission F.D.O.S.

2009-08-24T07:46:00.000-07:00

Hello There Welcome to Mission F.D.O.S.
For those of you who need to be filled in F.D.O.S. is First Day Of School. Also known as F.D.O.S.
So now that you are briefed a bit in the subject of what the f-udgesicles F.D.O.S. means let's get to gettin'.

Let's start with the fact that this mission is a solo mission. Usually when you are doing a F.D.O.S. you got back up. Other people that you can rest assured are in the mission too. But everyone in my area doesn't go back to school until after Labor Day. So I'm having my alarm clock playin 103.7 at 5:00AM with no back up. No moral support. Nothing. Just me myself and not even Irene whoever or wherever she is? Where did I even get that? Isn't that a movie?

Now that I have thoroughly confused myself...
Rhea's mom finally picked me up around quarter after 7. And we were off. Just us this year. No annoying little Elijah. I heard later from him that he's riding with some other smelly kid. It was pretty much uneventful. Except for the fact that along my high school career thus far I feel as though I have succeeding in not making one serious friend. All of this of course excludes Jade. I just feel like there's not one person in CLS that I will miss. Or even remember for that fact. Which I guess isn't really the point of high school. It's just that I realized my lack of friends today. I mean Noelle and Lauren aren't there this year. They were a major part of our crew. Now I'm lonely. Oh well. Half those kids are fake Hollister wearing 1,000+ friends on myspace to make myself look cool wannabes. And that just isn't me.

I'm trying to find myself during high school. Not make me up as someone that I'm not. I just refuse. I'll wear, say, and make friends how I want. That's why I don't have friends. LMAO! Because I'm kinda not like everyone else. I wish somedays I could just dissappear. I feel like such a different person. I used to be the girl that loved attention. I don't know what happened to me. I mean I still love attention but not as much. Like just yesterday. I craved attention. From the world. I wanted the whole world to just stop and look at me. Know my name. Now I'm like leave me alone. I just want to hide. Maybe it's this day that changed my attitude. I'm so insecure and lonely. All I have our my best friends. That's my problem. I don't really let alot of people in. But once I let you in. Your stuck with me for life. [This means you Justin and Jaymie]. I know this was supposed to be about school but I guess I just really needed to talk about some under lying issues. I don't want to be something I'm not. I don't want to be fake. I want to be me. No matter who that is. I'm not quite sure I know who that is yet. But I know some stuff.

I'm that girl who cries at commercials. I'm that girl who falls in love fast. I'm that girl who can feel like the most ugly thing on the earth at one particular moment and the hottest the next. I'm that girl who cries herself to sleep at night cuddling the stuffed animal her boyfriend of [almost] 14 months gave her. I'm that junior girl dating that senior boy. I'm the girl who has serious issues talking with and thinking about her weight. I'm that girl just scared. Of almost everything. I can't believe I admitted it. But all I am is scared. I'm scared of this life. love. dying. spiders. needles. getting stabbed in the neck when i stretch. what people think of me. failing. regret. my future. diseases. falling asleep and never waking up. going blind or deaf. bees. wasps. worms. closed in spaces. heights. being fat. drinking poison. being a bad parent. being a dissappointment. going to hell. and most of all being alone. That one scares me the MOST.

SO PLEASE PLEASE!!!
Don't leave me! ;]

Lemme just conclude with this year's junior schedule! :]
1st Hour- U.S. History
2nd Hour- Math Connections
3rd Hour- French III
4th Hour- Chemistry
5th Hour- Lunch
6th Hour- Choir
7th Hour- Study Hall
8th Hour- Bible
9th Hour- American Literature

Peace Out Girl Scout.
Dezzy

Gimme Shelter Like A Black Gospel Woman.

2009-08-17T06:55:00.000-07:00

Where Have I been? Well even I don't quite know. I think it's a mixture of the following: laziness, love of sleeping, and either not alot happening or too much happening that cause me not to post.
Pandora Playlist:

The King of Wishful Thinking- New Found Glory
The Last Song- All American Rejects
Gone- Switchfoot
Dear Maria, Count Me In- All Time Low
All We Are- One Republic
Why- Secondhand Serenade
Call It Karma (Acoustic) -Silverstein
About A Girl- The Academy Is...
Which to Bury, Us or the Hatchet- Relient K
A Day Late- Amberlin
Three Cheers For Five Years (acoustic)- Mayday Parade
When You Were Young- The Killers
Something in the Way- Nirvana

Yeah still addicted. You seriously need to check them out if you haven't already. Pandora rocks. lmao. You'd think I was advertising for them or something. Just go there > www.pandora.com Okay onward..

I have done the following things since we last talked:

I hung out with my mom. I brought along my bike. Even though I have this ghetto abs chain that hangs down when I don't pedal. We rode bikes from her house to the bike trail to about Drexel and by that time it was hot and Jayme my sis looked tired so I voted to turn around. In the middle of a busy highway my chain completely broke and I was freaked. My mom ended up riding it. She fixed it and we rode home. We hung out until the end of the day. I played truth with my little brother and sister and we had bonding time. So totally cute they are. :]

I went swimming the next week with my grandpa Orth and my mom and brother and little sister. It was fun we swam for like 2 hours. Then after that we went out to the buffet and ate everything they had. lol. :] Something about swimming makes me sooo hungry. Then we went to Petland and seen the cutest pets. We stopped by Bed Bath and Beyond and picked up an application and my mom helped me fill it out. As if it's rocket science.

I read a book entitle Revenge of the Homecoming Queen. I totally recommend. It was really good. It had amazing mixture. It was like a drama/love/mystery/thriller/shallow shopping book. lol. So yeah go out and buy that.

I found out I actually love Nirvana:] I started a youtube channel. But I currently only have one video that isn't of me but I will put it up somewhere in this post. Jaymie and I want to make random videos and have Justin edit them for us. That boy is so multi-talented. I was gonna try to wake up Jaymie but I pounded on her windows and doors and rung her doorbell a million times but she wasn't up. Oh well I'll try later:]

Tina is sooo cute :]
I also hung out with Justin and Jaymie. We had quite the time. AND WAIT FOR IT WAIT FOR IT..........
I GOT MY RING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah! I know I was too excited. There was kinda some worry that it wouldn't fit. But it fits fine and I LOVE IT! It spins and it has our names engraved on it and the date we started going out on the inside. In a different post I'll put up pictures that you guys missed. Anyways Onward...Justin and I got back to my place and started playing Life and while Jaymie was gone at Walmart we played for her. It sucked because we both wanted to be the cop but guess who got to be it? Jaymie! And she wasn't even there. Her salary 100,000 aka. thee highest salary in Life. I was like this is bogus but she showed up halfway through the game. It was funny because at first Justin was gonna make Jaymie a boy and put a boy peg in her car but I was like noo give her a girl. He was all fine we'll just make her a lesbian when she gets married. So when she got married instead of a boy we put a chic in her car and she landed on a baby boy space and I named him Serbio!!! :] Jaymie got 1 million something. Justin got 2 million something. Desiree got 3 million something. I WON! :] Then we ate Taco Bell. We played Rock Band for a long while. It was funny because I was singer. Jaymie was drummer. Justin, naturally, was guitar. And I was singing Gimme Shelter like a black gospel woman. It was hilarious. Then we went upstairs again and played Go Fish. Or as I say Gol Fish. Not gold or go gol. :] Had some strawberry ice cream and drove Justin home.

My grandma complained that my ring was unapproriate for a girl to have of my age. But I don't understand why? It's just a spinner ring;]

The next day Jade and I went to see Bandslam. Sucky movie but good company. We smuggled in half of the worlds dollar store candy and a vitamin water some pretzels and cheese popcorn and then afterward went to Applebee's shared an appetizer sampler and a maple butter blondie and took some pics that are gonna go in our locker this year. I can't believe I'm admitting this. But I'm kinda excited for this year. I mean Jade and I are gonna have a hot locker. We are planning our little shelves and it's all gonna be done up in shades of pink. It' junior year. I have 5th hour lunch again and Math Connections the slow math which = a higher GPA. I'm actually doing my homework this year. I'm an upperclassmen :] It all = a hot year. So can't wait.

P.S. Thanks for all the comments :] even though I was gone for awhile. And I'm not gonna comment on all your posts to catch up i'll just try to keep up to date from now on. Sorry

missed you!
dezzy

1 Green Pepper + 1 Onion

2009-08-05T08:15:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys!
Okay. So let's catch up! :] Those of you who are unaware I'm home! Where have YOU been? Lol. Jaymie is safely arrived in Georgia with Zack thanks to news through Justin. Yesterday was alot of fun. But first I need to tell you guys about something else! There is this sight that I absolutely love. I got it from Justin. He went to the site to find new bands that he would like. It's called Pandora. You really should check them out! It's awesome. They have an online radio and it all revolves around your favorite band and music you like. When you start off you type in your favorite band and they play a song by them and as you guy you check whether you like the songs they give you. Almost every song they have played I like already and they even threw in a couple I have never heard but I actually like in there. So check it out. Make yourself one and go nuts! Here's the link: www.pandora.com

My Pandora Playlist:

Crushcrushcrush- Paramore
Iris- The Goo Goo Dolls
Your Guardian Angel- Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
It's You- Fireflight
Only One- Yellowcard
Honestly- Cartel
Perfect- Flyleaf
Broken- Seether ft. Amy Lee

The other cool thing about Pandora is that it tells you why it picks the song for you. Like for example Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls was picked because: "Based on what you've told us so far, we're playing this track because it features acoustic rock instrumentation, a twelve-eight time signature, repetitive melodic phrasing, extensive vamping, and use of string ensemble". So yeah Justin got me kinda hooked :]

Anyways Onward! :D Yesterday was very fun. Justin came over. I picked him up around 12:30 and Cindy was along. We ended up going to Sanders Park which is where those pictures at the top are taken at. I took them in case you are wondering. Which I doubt. lol. We had fun there. Even though Justin and I both had problems. I was wearing the shortest shorts known to man and that place was buggy as can be. I got this massive mosquito bite on the back of my thigh and it itchs like lleh. But we walked around the track once and went back to the car. When we got back to the house we were thirsty and hot so we got some drinks out of the fridge. My grandma then opted to drag us along on a trip to the lawyers. YAY! Exactly what we wanted to do. It wasn't a long wait really. I gave Justin his ring and shirt and this collage I made him. It was a perfect day. We didn't fight at all. We rode our bikes up to Family Video and picked out Bedtime Stories on Blue-Ray Hi Def (yes we watch the best lol) with Adam Sandler and we rode them back home. We popped in our movie the second we got home but two minutes into it my grandma wanted us to run up to Piggly Wiggly to get her one green pepper and one onion and a 2 liter of root beer. So we walked up there because my grandma's bikes handle bars are loose and I didn't want any accidents. We got the pepper and onion and a 2 liter of A+W and I carried the green pepper and Justin the A+W and onion. I was swinging the green pepper and the thing went flying like I was bowling and I started cracking up. We got home and by then it was time to eat. I had my grandma make the one meal that Justin likes from our house that isn't take out. It's this Walking Taco thing where you use Dorrito bags and put the toppings to your taco in the bag and mix it all up. It was really yummy. We had some Mac N Cheese randomly and then we went and watched the rest of our movie cuddled on my sofa. Justin fell asleep towards the end and it was the sweetest thing. Then we walked right back up to Family Video to turn it back in :] After that my grandma took us to Dairy Queen and we both got medium blizzards. Justin got Thin Mint. I got that Tagalong one again. Then we drove him home. And it was perfect.

I wanted one extra super perfect day to give him. It was all about him. What he wanted. I like doing that for him. I let him pick out the movie (even though I wanted to see it too lol) and I had my grandma make a dinner I knew he would like. I gave him his ring and it looks really good on his finger. It's a little loose but he refuses to let me buy him any other one than the one he has. And it's really not that badly loose. All-in-all a good day. Now today I'm just bumming. Spending all my money on neopets. I know it's just a game so why not make noah look cute? I painted him starry! Check out Noah's site. He wrote it himself. lol. http://www.neopets.com/~noah_miilu

Yeah well I better go now. I'll end this post with my week plans!

Week Plans:

Thursday- Hangin w/ my mom
Friday- Hopefully First Friday w/ Justin
Saturday- laundry
Sunday- church to show everyone my black hair

DON'T forget to go to Pandora! www.pandora.com

Love you!
Dezzy

Canteloupe is a fruit and Antelope is a deer

2009-08-03T06:27:00.000-07:00

July 31, 2009

Hey Guys,
I'm bringing you guys along on my trip with me so welcome to the car it's like 4:52 AM.

Soundtrack of a Car Trip:

The Girl's A Straight-Up Hustler- All Time Low
Lullabies- All Time Low
Beautiful-Eminem
Don't Forget- Eminem
Stop This Song(Lovesick Meoldy)- Paramore
Sugar- Flo Rida ft. Wynter
Good Girls Go Bad- Cobra Starship ft. Leighton Meester

We just picked up my grandma's friend Chris. She gave us this cooler full of fruit, drinks, and a Garmin GPS. Me+Jaymie are like super cuddly in the back of this car with my pillow, my comforter, and since Jaymie forgot her pillow on of the comfy throw pillows off of my couch. I miss you guys already!

Personal Shout-Out:
Justin- I miss and love you like crazy! I cannot wait to see you again! muah ♥ you hubby.
But I'm gonna go for now!
lyl!
dez

Stop #1: yeah I know already it's really early in the morning, a McDonalds that wasn't even open yet.
Stop#2: gas station to fill er up (we aren't even out of the city!)
Stop#3: a McDonalds that's actually open (outskirts of city)

Wowww...My grandma is annoying she's like way too happy. bahahahaha.

Stop#4: bathroom for Chris + Claudia already!

olleH people it's 8:07 and according to Gary our Garmin, yes I named him I just did without even consulting Jaymie:], we will be like halfway there (@ some restaurant for breakfast) at anywhere from 9:10-9:20. I don't want to stop there really, but Chris does because I guess they have meringue on their pies bigger than Texas but I'm gonna go now to enjoy Katy Perry's Waking Up In Vegas.

Stop#5: gas station. lmao. seriously? Peanut sized bladders said to me.

Omg. Me + Jaymie are so bored that we are playing with our clothes. Like we're both wearing these black sweatpant capris and Jaymie snapped hers and this huge puff of dusty tihs just like came out. and then I did it and was like look! And we just started effing laughing and snapping our pants and this huge dust storm was in my backseat. gross. :]

Stop#6:Norske Nook Bakery + Restaurant this one I actually liked. It was a cute lil Norwegan place. We had this cute plump old lady named Linda as our waitress. She was adorable! She had this gray hair up in this tiny baby pony. It was so cute I went back to our car just to get my camera to get a picture with her.

I had a Justin sighting in their gift shop to. In their gift shop I saw the book the Shack, a good book Justin got for me in a hard time. It had nothing to do with Norway so I knew it was Justin :]

Wow. Me + Jaymie are yssag. We are gnitraf tola! lol. It's really bad +yknits. Jymie had a gnikcuf seizure because she keeps leaning on her "window opener switch" and unexpectedly opening her window. It's hilarious to watch. Gary says we will be there @ 12:16 and it's 11:40. Can't wait!

Stop#7: ANOTHER GAS STATION! because old people have to pee like every 2 seconds! lol ahahaha.

Quote of the Day:
"selppin!" -Jaymie
"it gets me excited!" -Desiree

Mall was really fun. The first thing Jaymie and I had to do was pee though and put in our hair clips. It really sucked because they didn't go in good. And the grandma could see our pins.

Overall Progress of MOA (mall of america) Shopping

The first thing I bought was a ring (cough engagemnet cough) It's a shiny band for $22 but it was 30% off so I got it for $16.50
We bought hair ties + 2 things of huge Arizona tea @ the Dollar Tree (we needed to braid our hair and the bevarages were nicely priced) $3.15
Old Navy- 2 shirts + tanks to go under them. I also got Justin a bright blue shirt because I know the color would look gorgeous on him. I spent $47.00 exactly because they don't tax clothes! It rocks :]
I ran out of money.

Then @ like 9 we took the hotel's shuttle back to our hotel. Jaymie + I were gonna go off on our own +end the night in the jacuzzi but I seen treadmills and I had to try one out. But then these stupid people got in the jacuzzi and we were sitting on a treadmill passing her Blackberry b/w us txtn Zack/Justin, watching through the window and hoping the'yd leave. Then we finally just got into the jacuzzi w/3 other people, but they eventually left. We showered, braided our hair, and went to bed.

August 1, 2009

Just got back from the MN zoo. It's the 2nd biggest zoo I guess but I think the Milwaukee zoo has more animals and shows. Like they didn't have ONE seal. And like the Milwaukee zoo has the Birds of Prey show, The Oceans of Fun Seal Lion show, The Birds Down Under Exhibit, and there's probably others but I forgot. I had fun though. I'm super duper tired now though.

Quotes of Today:

"Look Katie! Lions+Tigers!" -some guy
"and bears! oh my!" -some teen
"I'm not scared!" -the little girl, Katie or whatever

"I don't erally like beer!" -little boy
"You don't like beer?" -boy's mom
*laughs* "your not my son!" -boy's dad

"Well...Canteloupe is a fruit and antelope is a deer" -random mom

"They're cuddling!" -Jaymie talking about our stuffed animal boyfriends "They're yag" -Desiree

and my personal favorite! "I should grab that fishes tail and hold it!" -Desiree (me)
"Nooo! It'll drown!!" -grandma

It's the end of the day and I'm waiting for Jaymie to get out of the shower we went in the pool today and Jaymie would pick me up and flip me around and I'd just clamp my thighs to stay on :] I'm really tired. It's been a long day. Tomorrow we leave. I'm kind of excited to leave. I haven't heard Justin's voice since Thursday night. I bawled my eyes out during our goodbyes.
Today is our 13th Monthaversary and I, personally, haven't texted, called or said one word to him. So this is my time to talk to him. Beware if you hate lovey dovey stuff:
Hey Hubby Angel Sweetie Baby Sugar Lips Cutie Britches Gorgeous Perfect Male Model,
It's our monthaversary and I wanna let you know that I've fallen more and more in love with you since July 1, 2008. Every moment I spend with you makes my life so much better. Every minute I get to look into those gorgeous perfect beatiful eyes and tell you I love you is worth every bit of pain and suffering I have gone through. You make everything in life worth going through. I love you so much. I can't wait to marry you. I love you hubby
Love, Always
Dezzy:]

August 2, 2009

Hey Peepz!
I'm coming back home to you guys!! It's an informal going home though because if we see something interesting on our way home we'll stop. I had alot of fun but I'm ready to be home! I wish I could hear Justin's voice! mmm. I miss him! I feel refreshed but exhausted @ the same time. I hope I see Justin really soon. I can't wait to give him his shirt and even more his ring! btw we elft @ 10:30. Gary says we will be home @3:45 but that's without 50 stops for the little bladdered people. I'm gonna go look @ this wedding book this lady gave to mefor free when I dragged Jaymie in a Wedding Store. It was cool they had a chapel in it and everything. There was this lady trying on a dress and I peaked in on her and she looked so beautiful I was almost crying and I had no clue who she was! lol

Stop#1:Gas station for all to tihs and eep. Then Mexicali Rose to eat. it was soo yummy. (we're in the Dells!)

We are 30 mins away from Chris's house according to Gary. It's about 5:30. I'm tired and sweaty cuz Jaymie's prickly legs are all over me. It's ssorg when she lifts her legs it's all sweaty on eachother.

I"M HOME!!!!!!!!

Waddling Into McDonalds with Handfuls of Change

2009-07-30T06:39:00.000-07:00

Hey people:]
This is my last post before taking a 6-8 hour car trip up to Minnesoata to enjoy the Mall of America!! I'm very excited:] I just can't wait. I promise I will fill you guys in on all the interesting details and take a bunch of pictures;] and I'll miss you guys. Except I'm kinda happy I don't have to go Sunday School. I mean I'm warming up to Sandy. It's just that I liked Bob better. Anyways...Onward:]

Jaymie and I have already went to McDonalds used those coupons and came back. I payed in nickels and dimes:] That's my new thing. Everywhere Jaymie and I go. We pay in change. Like it's hilarious. Some people trust it but some people choose to be stubborn and count all 10 dollars worth out:] bahahaha. We are already known for it at Walgreens. We have a certain lady. She calls us "the twins" because she thinks we look alot alike. It was funny she was like my twins are back I accept change! I was thinking Good because we have 9 dollars worth of nickels in Jaymie's hands that we counted in the hair dye isle sitting on the floor:] I think that's what I will remember the most about Summer '09. The ottehg-ness. Seriously, this is like ghetto at it's best;]

Justin is kinda crabby this morning since I called him at like 5:00 AM. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. I'm letting him nap right now while I write out my farewell for the weekend post!

My mom should be calling me anytime now to tell me she is up and on her way. I swear to doG she is worse than me. She wakes up at like 10 or 11 almost everyday. lol. But she stays up till 3. I'm like mom I went to bed at 11:00 and woke up at 5:00. I live off of 6 hours of sleep each day. But here's the thing. I used to hate waking up in the morning but the more I do it. The more I get used to it. The more I actually like it. And I think I am one of the only teenagers that can say they actually like getting up early. It's all about the attitude while waking up though;] Justin doesn't quite have it down yet, which is why he's napping;] lol [i'm just picking on you babe.]

There's just something fun about the morning. It's like when you do things in the morning. It's quiet the world isn't awake yet and you could do just about anything. No one notices in the morning. And people of the morning like to pay in change too! Jaymie and I seen all these old people waddling into McDonalds with handfuls of change just like us. I was like oooh girl they got it down:] bahahahaha.

You guys should deffinately check out the Mall of America website. It's really cool! Here's the link: http://www.mallofamerica.com

I'm super excited to show my mom my hair. She was the one who wanted me to go black in the first place so I hope she likes it.

I have a rant about McDonalds new McCafe coffee. It's yucky. I hate it! I liked the old stuff better. Like all the coffees taste the same. Like a cappuchino tastes like coffee. A mocha tastes like coffee. Luckily though coffee tastes like coffe. Everything just tastes like coffee. I like their coffee a lot more before they switched over. Now it tastes bland. Like before their coffee used to be comparable to Starbucks but now this crap is like gross as your mom. YEAH it's that bad! :] I'm just messin' with you we all know you mom is hot [this part is not for Jaymie]. bahahahaha.

I'm hyper today. Maybe it was that gross cappuchino. Or maybe it was the free sandwhich with the purchase of a gross cappuchino? I'm not sure. Either way I'm not sure if I will be able to fall asleep at like 7:00PM or 8:00 PM tonight. Like I need to be zonked [nice word I know] to go to bed that early. Maybe Jaymie and I should have an intense tickle fight where we get completely sweaty to the point where even my knees sweat. bahahaha. That's intense.

Okay this post is random so since I'm just kind of ranting about things. Lemme rant about this: What is with my grandma and looking down on Justin for not having a job? I feel like she does this to everyone 18+. She just assumes that you should have a job if you are male too. She's really old-fashioned that way. She's like "He's supposed to take care of you!". I'm like no grandma it's mutual. We take care of one another. That would be a distorted view. It's not all about me. Marriage and relationships are a 2 way street. You help eachother. She's like: "I just don't know what you see in him!" I don't see what you see in grandpa. And really I don't think anyone but me should see what I do in Justin. Otherwise they would love him. Like really. Maybe to you guys Justin is no one special but I love him. And that's what matters. Yeah he doesn't have a job. But he's tried. The economy is terrible. Cut the guy some slack. You yourself were laid off for awhile my goodness.

Okay:] I'm done ranting now. Well I better go
I hope you have enjoyed the last post of this week. I want to say in advance to Justin:

HAPPY 13th MONTHAVERSARY! I love you baby! It's been a year and a month and I can't believe we've made it through all this:] We've had a lot of fights. And I know I can get pretty vicious but you've stuck with me through it all. And I promise no matter how much we fight I will always love you. I miss you already. I'll be thinking about you.
Love,Always
Dezzy

LOVE YOU GUYS TOO:]
Dezzy

Pack Deodorant

2009-07-29T19:45:00.000-07:00

Before and After:)
Yes you see correct. I dyed my hair. Correction: Jaymie dyed my hair. Black. Like real. Serious. BLACK :) I can't wait to get back to church to SCARE everyone. See how you like me now? I'm a black haired girl:) bahahaha. I hope you guys like it. I do, Jaymie does, and Justin does. My grandma said I look like a witch. Oh well. Justin said:

I love Desiree says: omg....
Dezzy Miilu says: what? i look ugly!?
I love Desiree says: no!!! you look... AMAZING wow....
Dezzy Miilu says: really?
I love Desiree says: yes yes yes omg btw i have a new fav pic of you

:) I have alot to do before I leave in 2 days. This is only a short information and catch-up post so yeah.
TO DO LIST:

Eat at McDonalds w/Jaymie in the morning to use up these coupons
Get ready to hang with my mom tomorrow
Come home early
Fall asleep early w/ Jaymie
Pack deodorant :S
SHAVE
Alot more I'm to lazy to write.

Yah but i better go

sorry so short

super busy

love,dezzy

Big Ol' Tacky Pink Palm Trees

2009-07-28T15:01:00.000-07:00

Hey guys:)

I'm just bummin today. After I got off here yesterday I think I checked for comments once every second. I just have this love to know what you guys think of what I said. And Chels: very funny onion story I thought I was the only one who wanted onions that way:) What can I tell you I have Onion Lust. But anyways..Onward. For those of you who are unaware that's like my new word. but like I said onward:) I was watching Whose Wedding Is It Anyway? just a few seconds ago. And lemme tell you from experience that show is majorly addicting. Your sitting there like oh my gawd will Laura's dress fit? bahahaha. So funny. I don't know but weddings are so interesting to me. I love them. I was watching these people's weddings wearing my short shorts that I wear on the 4th of July and while I'm cleaning, eating cheddar cheese shaped like mickey mouse's head, and getting all teary eyed over people I have never met. Yes I am one of those people who cry at weddings. Don't make fun of me:)

A Wedding Planner seems like it would be a fun job. I would really like to do that. Yeah I know all the downsides. People would yell at you, high stress, and all that. But it would be so rewarding. Seeing beautiful weddings:) and making people's wedding dreams come true. If there was no budget on my wedding I would go absolutely crazy. Wanna peak into my dream wedding? Okay you asked for it :) Just pretend like you did ;)

Dream Wedding Cake:

Dream Wedding Dress:

Dream Bridesmaids:

Dream Wedding Centerpiece:

Dream Reception Location/Look:

Okay well get rid of those big ol' tacky pink palm trees and insert my centerpiece and we will be just perfect:) I can't wait till I get married. Though I doubt it will be that extravagent. Nothing will get in the way of making that day be the best. I mean flowers wither and fade but my love for Justin never will. We won't have alot of money at all. I probably will end up marrying him only spending like 500 dollars. LOL. :)

I think another cool job would be a party-planner. I mean it would suck that you get to see those awesome parties and not be able to join in on it. But it would just be fun. I don't know. I've always liked putting together a poster and things like that making presentations. making things look good. so I guess that's along the same lines.

Anyways:) enough on my career choice. Today was a pretty good first day of actual free summer. Thank you Jaymie for reminding me;) I talked and slept with Justin for 5 hours and then we got off and started to clean. I cleaned the kitchen a little more. I'm hoping for more money to spend in Minnesoata because I personally only have 38 bucks to spend. And that's like one shirt. So yeah. I better be getting paid for this:) I'm really looking forward to it. I'm majorly jealous that Jaymie is going on 2 trips within 2 weeks. I think that's bogus. hctib:) I mean serious I have never gone anywhere farther than Milwaukee with Justin and let alone for a full week. You are lucky. But you still suck.

My grandma is on her way to Subway to get me my new usual. OMG. That Chicken Bacon Barbecue Cheddar sub like is a multiple flavorgasm. :) Don't know what that means look on urbandictionary.com. It's a real word believe me. See:

Flavorgasm
November 30, 2008 Urban Word of the Day

When eating food so good that you let out an involuntary moan, usually the first bite; also as an adjective - flavorgasmic

I ate this unbelievable steak yesterday. I swear when I ate the first bite I had a total flavorgasm

Well I better go enjoy my food now;) lyl

Is anyone else obsessed with weddings?

Tell me if so because I feel like a freak!

Love you

DEZZY! :D

Some People's Children Crack Me Up

2009-07-27T14:39:00.000-07:00

Wow. Can I just say that has to be on the top 10 of grossest meals of my life. Like seriously. Girls and boys and Chris Crocker listen to this tihs:
My grandma made dinner tonight. *scream sound effect sounding like my neighbor's house at Halloween* Yeah. That's bad. She usually just gets take out but tonight she decided to make dinner. And get all experimental on me. I'm like nos fo a hctib please. So I come to the table and am instantly mislead by the smell of yummy beef. I look at this dish and folks lemme tell you it isn't pretty...It looked like a rainbow threw up on a cow and they cooked the cow in a skillet. She always calls her experimental meals "mix dishes". Like what the fuck is that? It's not called mix dish because you mix in any shit that isn't moldy out of our fridge. It's called mix stuff that would taste good and complimentary to one another in one tasty main dish. But no. She is unaware of the definition. Some one buy her a dictionary this Christmas. Anyways.. Onward. I scoop up this dish...One bite tells me I'd be better off walking to McDonalds. And there are thunderstorm warnings ladies and gents so that's saying alot. This shit tasted like she marinted the beef in that sprinkle on powder cheese you put on your popcorn. And it had these weird vegatables that aren't even native to our land. You gotta fucking walk to Jerusalem to even find one. lmao. bahahaha. And on top of this she puts this shredded cheese on. There are like carrot sticks in there. All fucking hard and crunchy. It's like a mixture of textures, tastes, smells. And I'm just not loving the mixtures.

Then bitch has the nerve to put her nasty ass muffins on the table and call it a roll. I'm like there is no way that's a roll. She wanted us to eat these rolls. WITH THAT DISH!!! I'm like that's where I draw the line. When you is cooking jacked up mix dishes, calling nasty muffins rolls, and making us eat them together. Just to prove my point that these muffins are nasty lemme tell you the ingredients:
NASTY MUFFIN INGREDIENTS:

Chopped Up Apples
Chopped Up Carrot Sticks
Chopped Up Pecans and Walnuts
Cinnamon
Raisins
Shredded Coconut

Yeah I think she's coconuts. That's just gross. Then I'm like grandma I know those are deffinately not rolls. Those are deffinately muffins. And she's like whatever. Same thing. She has the nerve to say same thing people! I'm like you can never insult beautiful, delicious, fluffy, warm rolls that way. It's despicable. Some people's children crack me up with the way they can't cook.

Whether you can tell or not, I am in a great mood:) I think It's because...wait for it, wait for it....

I'M DONE WITH SUMMER SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D

Yeah you heard me:) I finished up English with an 85%. This morning I came in. And for those of you who don't know I had to read this book In His Steps by Charles M. Sheldon. And I read like halfway through the book and "skimmed" the rest. bahahaha. More like took it and flipped through the pages and barely glance at the page. So then they have me tryin to do a character analysis of these biotches. And there are like tell character traits of Felicia. I'm sitting there like who the FUCK is Felicia? Where'd this hctib pop out of? So I'm just giving this generic answer like: Felicia is a young woman who goes under a metamorphisis that I loved. bahahaha. So hilarious. Then she's giving me reworks on this stuff and I'm like uhmm I'd rather fail. ahahaha. But I finally got out of there. :) Alive.

After that I walked over to Subway to celebrate solo. Okay so lemme tell you this: My grandma gives me like 9 dollars in the morning right? I spent like 1.90 on a Vault and this Special K Strawberry Bar at break, right? Then I walk over to Subway and I order a 6-inch meal. I'm all yeah I'll have enough for this. I got $7.10 left over. So then she rang it all up. And she looks at me. And girl says that will be $7.12. I'm all panicking. I gave her my 7 bucks and my dime. And I'm sitting there all lying to her. Like dang I can't find my quarter. I swear it was in here. Searching for money I don't even have. bahahaha. Then I finally stop my act and I'm like I don't have 2 cents. All ashamed and shiz. She's all that's okay. You got the dime and that's good enough. All trying to boost my self-confidence. I was so embarassed. DON'T TELL NOBODY! :) Then I sat on that comfy couch and read there magazines. Overall a pretty good subway experience. Besides the whole $7.12 incident. I never knew how good onions taste. I just wanna take a bite outta one like It's an apple. lmao. But i better go ;)

Hope Your Summer's Goin Good!
Thanks for the comments; I look forward to em:)

Dezzy

What's up with pie?

2009-07-26T13:47:00.000-07:00

So church today actually went well. We had a guest speaker name Kurt something I forgot. He was good he said a few things worth remembering. It was the first sermon my mind didn't drift off during in a long while. Before the sermon his daughter was gonna play the piano so the chic gets up and my grandma is all interested. And chic sits down and plays something sounding effing perfect that makes me look like a blind 2 year-old. That made my grandma granddaughter lust for her. For those of you who are unfamiliar what granddaughter lust it's a lust for another granddaughter besides your own. Which I have no clue why she would want her for a granddaughter she can't even dress herself without looking like she came out of an old woman store. Sorry that was mean. But yeah then my grandma looks at me all nice and tries to offer me a Bic pen. And all I wanted to say was: Take that nasty cheap Bic pen and shove it up your ssa. But I just refused and pulled out a more superior pen with the flowy ink that makes me go crazy. I took a spiritual gifts test but I think it's wrong. It says my top 2 spiritual gifts are encouraging and showing mercy. I don't know I might be good at that stuff. I got a 10 in each. And I got a 9 in Pastoral and giving too. random. i know... I took another quiz online and it said I was best at music, drama, listening, and writing. I'm like well I knew the music stuff. lmao. Not to be self-centered or anything. I showed my grandma and she was like listening!? that's really funny. That pissed me off I was all: bahahaha :) So this week on Friday early in the morning I am going to: yupp the Mall of America. That's as close to Canada as I'll get Chels so you should go ;] lol. I love the Mall of America. They used to have Camp Snoopy there but they popped the big ol' Snoopy balloon shortly after I left there and now it's called Nickoledon Universe or something. I guess it's the first all Nick amusement park. idk. I was on there website. The website is hot y'all should check it out:
www.mallofamerica.com
I can't wait to go though. I love it there. It's 4 stories of mall surrounded by rides? what gets better than that. Justin and me were talking on the phone and he was all:

Don't forget to buy me something. -Justin jokingly
Oh I won't I planned on it. -Dezzy
Awwww -Justin
The only problem is I'm gonna wanna buy you the whole mall -Dezzy

That's my problem I really wanna spend like a million dollars on everyone. Like Jaymie I wish I could buy her thousand dollar gifts for her birthday. I always go overboard on my gifts. My grandma will tell me I can spend 20 dollars and I wanna spend like 40. Just on some random person I don't even know :) bahahaha.

So tonight is the Hymn Sing and Pie Social at my church and truthfully the only reason I'm going is because my grandma is dragging me. I guess pie's a plus to except for the fact I'm not really crazy about pie... There's just something about it. That I never really go nuts about... I don't know.What's up with pie? lol. But I better go now ttyl
muah
Love foreverr&always;Dezzy

First Official :)

2009-07-25T16:18:00.000-07:00

Hey Homies,
I'm super cranky.

Playlist of the Day:

The Girls A Straight Up Hustler- All Time Low
Stop This Song (Lovesick Melody)- Paramore

Short, sweet and to the point I know but those are the two songs that I can't stop replaying over and over again. Give them a listen if you have good taste. Lol :)

Ok now lemme tell you how bowling went with Robbie Alissa and Justin went. Shortly after I got off the computer my grandma got home and Robbie Alissa and Justin showed up at my house before I could even put on my makeup. They were already here but my grandma like insists on taking a shower. So we like waited around for her. But then she gets out and finally let Alissa take me. I'm like wow if that wasn't a waste of time what is? lmao. So then we decided to go to Paradise Lanes. And Alissa is like do you have open bowling. And the guy was like no. and we were like dangit. and he was like no im just kidding you. I was like haha your funny give me a gnikcuf lane. lmao jk. I thought it was funny:) so then. We got lane 16! :)because I'm 16 and he put Robbie and Alissa next to us on 15. because the place was empty but us and one other person. We betted a quarter on which couple would bowl better. And let's just say Justin and I were far from winning. On our first game me and Justin bowled a 125...together. I got a 50. He got a 75. lmao. But we had fun. We bowled for 2 hours aka 4 games. Then we were gonna order a pizza there but there pizza place didn't open until after 5. So we went to Pizza Hut and all pitched in to buy a large hand tossed pepperoni and I accidentally called our waitress a guy. It was effing hilairious. Justin and Robbie were being like 3 year olds and me and Alissa talked. And it was alot of fun! :)We are gonna do something again sometime. Anyways...we weren't full off that pizza so we went to DQ and I got a Blizzard. It was that Tag-Along Girl Scout one and it was good. Recommend.

Then Robbie and Alissa left and Justin and I blew bubbles but then I was really tired so we went inside and we sat on the couch listening to one of those live Palladia rock shows my grandpa watches. And Justin was laying on the couch and I was laying across him. And I fell asleep on him. And it was the greatest thing. I listened to his heart beating. It was the first official time I fell asleep on him:) I loved listening to his heart beat and snuggling into him closer. Perfect Moment #376727957628675612796597:) Then my grandma walked in and was just like okay let's bring him home. She didn't even yell that I was on top of him kinda snuggled in close. So that was cool. She trusts us more I think... You never know with her. but yeah. I'm gonna go paint my nails red, orange, or yellow.

TTYL

Dezzy:)

Funny Quote

2009-07-24T10:20:00.001-07:00

"What is that from?" -Desiree
"It's from the movie" *glances at grandma and sees that she is watching* "40 Year Old Not Desiree" -Jaymie
"Huh?" -Desiree
"40 Year Old NOT DESIREE!" -Jaymie
"Oooooooooh"- Desiree
*lols* -both

Birthday Bash

2009-07-24T09:33:00.000-07:00

Birthday Image Form:

Birthday Word Form:

Okay so let's just say minus a few incidents this was the best birthday of my life no doubt or question in my mind. :) The day started off with this delicious sandwhich from Dunkin Donuts that my grandma got for me. I also snitched some donut holes:) Then I went to school and on the way there Mrs. Peden bought me Starbucks! So I got a Grande White Chocolate Mocha and I was looking like a queen in my formal dress. Then I got to school and got to work. I finished history with an 87%/a B. But I didn't finish up my English. I hav 3 lessons this weekend, 2 quizzes, and a test, then finals and I'm out of there!! So I will deffinately be done by Monday. Then after school I picked up Justin:) He brought his guitar over and we played guitar and piano ;) While my grandma went to deliver Avon. Then we were gonna go to Salute's but Jaymie was taking forever so we waited for her and I played Justin's guitar and then I had Alissa stop over and today we are going bowling as a double date with them :D. But we worked out our plans for that. We are goin to Castle Lanes:) and we talked a bit but then Robbie really wanted steak so they left and went back to Robbie's place. And Jaymie came over and we went to Salute's and got a pan pizza and this time with Jaymie's help we only had 2 pieces left. Then we drove over to the McDonalds car show and chilled there for awhile. Then we went back to my place and had some ice cream cake that my grandma picked up from Baskin Robbins which was delicious. Then we all went in the basement and tried to have me do the strumming pattern to Chop Suey :) Jaymie took a video and it's pretty hot ;) Then I took Justin home. It was one of the greatest nights of my life and I haven't even listed my gifts yet!!

Gifts:

All Time Low Put up or Shut up CD
Red Delicious flavor of Victoria's Secret lip gloss
pretty pink Walgreens lip gloss
Sunglasses that make me look like a queeenn
(that was all from Jaymie)
Digital Camera
(mom)
Bubbles
Avon
Mall of America trip
Alarm clock that shines the time on the ceiling
SKittles
(my grandma)
the gift that I got now from Justin was
an mp3 player since I lost mine
and the one I'm getting in a few weeks is...
DRUMROLL PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*drum noises*
A pretty ring that Justin showed a picture to me of on his cell phone and that will have Desiree+Justin engraved on it and the date we started going out 7/1/08 on the inside!!!

So yeah. What can top that? He says he wants it to be an engagement ring. :) I cannot wait until I get it!!!!! I am soo listening to Jaymie's CD right now btw

Playlist of the Day:

1. Coffee Shop Soundtrack- All Time Low

2. Break Out! Break Out!- All Time Low

3. The Girl's A Striaght-Up Hustler- All Time Low

4. Jasey Rae- All Time Low

5. The Party Scene- All Time Low

6. Running From Lions- All Time Low

7. Lullabies- All Time Low (my fav song on the album i think)

But I better go get ready to go bowling with Justin, Alissa, and Robbie now! Hope you guys enjoyed my birthday yesterday. lol

muah

16 year old,

Dezzy

Happy Birthday ME!

2009-07-23T21:19:00.000-07:00

TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!
(tell more later)
;) lyl

Less Than 4 Hours

2009-07-22T18:16:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XeUHA5RiE4

Okay so that is so gross. That lip gloss all over her/his teeth makes me wanna gag myself with something from the bottom of my mother and father fucking heart. Lmao :) Well

TOMORROW=MY BIRTHDAY!!!! Didn't get it? Mañana= Mi cumpleaños!!!! Still don't get it? Demain= Mon Anniversaire!!!! If you still don't get it you need to get a translator and type that shit in because I'm so excited! I know part of my gift from Jaymie because she let me open part of today. I got sunglasses and this hot shiny heartfelt cards like its hot. Usually she gets me funny cards but this time she got me this nice one that's all:

" You've consoled me, encouraged me, and shared a lot of laughter with me. It's no wonder you're my best friend"

So Yeah it's pretty great. About summer school I doubt I will finish in time. I have like 5 tests (including exams), 3 quizzes and I finished the rest of my history homework so all I have is 3 lessons in English. If I do finish it's gonna be a close call. Tomorrow my grandma is going to pick me up from school at 2:00 PM and we are picking up Justin. We are gonna chill at my house for awhile by ourselves and uhm celebrate me being a year older in our own special way ;) Then after we are done were gonna call up Jaymie and have her chill with us. I'm going to open my gifts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy Cows! I am so excited. Then we are walking up to the mall prolly or doing something. I might ask Justin to bring his guitar. Then I'm hopin it rains so that my grandpa won't go to the stupid Thursday car show at McDonalds so that we all can go to Salute's and get some more pizza. But yeah. This year I am super excited for my birthday. Actually this is the most excited I have been for my birthday in my entire life. Maybe its because last year Justin and Jamyie made my birthday so great I know that it could only get better. 16 baby! AND I JUST REALLY CANT WAIT TO SEE MY GIFTS!!! The rest of Jaymie's is sitting right next to me (I'm at her house we were gonna get her camera Chloe and make videos mimicking our favorite Youtubers but then it ended up that we weren't prepared and I started to post and now shes playing Wheel of Fortune on her Ipod and holy moses is this a long parenthetical documentation lol).

Playlist of the Day:

You Belong With Me- Taylor Swift
Mind in the Gutter- Chris Crocker
Circus- Britney Spears (LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!)
Monsoon- Tokio Hotel
Live Life Loud- Hawk Nelson
Racecar- Hawk Nelson

Random stuff. I know. So today I was abruptly awoken by Jaymie. My grandma called me to wake me up and I went to the phone to answer, then called Justin. Then the next thing I know I see Jaymie standing in the window by my driveway staring in at me with this creepy ass look on her face. I was like scared shitless I didn't even scream I was so tired. Then she's like all hyper as hell and telling me that she's been up all night and I'm like mmmmm mhmmm I can barely open my eyes. LMAO. Then she left after harassing me and knocking on my windows then hiding a good amount of times and producing good screams. lmao.

Yesterday we had a ghetto day at Regency mall. We randomly decided to walk up there. We ended up walking around going into Victoria's Secret and I seen these cute panties that said turn me on and they had light bulbs on them and I thought it was hilair so I was gonna have Jaymie take a pic and send them to Justin but the lady was all Hi no pictures right as she was about to click that rethom rekcuf. It sucked. Then we went in all the prep stores because she can't go there at all with Zack. I tried on this short purple mini skirt and we went around. I almost bought my lil sis something in Aero cause she can fit a Xtra Small there but we didn't have that much money. Then we ended up going to Hot Topic and buying these bright fake hair extensions. We said we were gonna straighten our hair and put them in when we go to Mall of America just to freak out my grandma into thinking they are real. (btw we payed in quarters!!! now thats what I call ghetto) then we went to the pretzel store and bought pretzels and it was only like 7 dollars for like 20 pretzel stix 2 cheese and a drink it was nice! (we payed in quarters again) Then my grandma picked us up. So yeah.

I really can't wait till my birthday. Hope y'all got me something ;)

I got CARDS FROM PEOPLE TOO!

Seriously this is the first B.day that I got cards from people alot. Usually it's just my great grandma but this year I got cards from:

People I got Cards From:

Bob + Wendy
Pat Forsman
Jaymie
Great Grandma

ALSO, my Avon comes tomorrow I CANT WAIT!!! :D I better go now though I'll put up pics later. Wish Me Happy Birthday

Muah ;)

I'm 16 in less than 4 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Dezzy

Brussells Be Gone

2009-07-19T13:55:00.001-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REXS7cFJvJI

Okay. Well My house smells severely like BRUSSEL SPROUTS. someone gag me. Everyone is eating right now. While I'm sitting here blogging. AND THERE ARE 3 DAYS UNTIL MY B.DAY!!!! I'm so excited. As pre-mentioned in earlier posts I really want to find out what all my presents are. So far I know 2 presents. The one I have already recieved and the one that's from my grandma and her friend Chris. Jaymie told me she knew so I pestered my grandma and she finally told me:) She's taking me and Jaymie on a weekend trip to the Mall of America on the weekend of July 31st which semi-sucks because I'll miss Justin I was hoping she'd let me start drivers ed. AHEM. It's my 16th birthday. And my mom was gonna go on a trip maybe that weekend. About the Drivers Ed thing she always pops out these lame excuses. Like her new one is We don't have enough money. I'm like BULL if we really didn't how am I going to Mall of America? And her other one is that I'm not responsible. The other day she literally called me responsible. So what now? Yeah the other present I know about is my digital camera which you already know about.

So the Zack+Jaymie drama wasn't totally resolved but it's died down a tiny bit. Here's the thing. I felt bad about the whole thing so I called up Jaymie and told her to come over and maybe we could call up Zack and try to talk the thing out. But he made an excuse about how he was tired and was taking a nap and he would call us later. He never called so Jaymie texted him from Charcoal Grill and he was all crabby as hell. He said tihs about how he didn't want to talk to anyone deffinately not me. When I was giving him another chance. He was totally dessip at me and Justin for something he admitted he did. And it's just gay because now Jaymie has to split up her life and there isn't gonna be a triple date with Alissa+Jaymie+Me because Zack doesn't want to see Justin or I ever again. He doesn't want to forgive us for helping him realize he was being a jerk to his girfriend. CAN YOU SAY PEOPLE ARE STUPID? Cuz i can.

Okay so tomorrow they are having some special at Starbucks that says they will give you a free pastry if you buy a drink! Here's a link to the coupon thing you have to present if you want to go and treat yourself.
http://www.starbucks.com/retail/print_free_pastry.html?a=sbnw01890b
I love you guys But I better go sorry so short ;)
MUAH :) Dezzy

Effects of Camera Obsession

2009-07-19T12:02:00.000-07:00

Camera Obsession

2009-07-17T15:55:00.000-07:00

Hey

HAPPY PRE-BIRTHDAY! :) Today was the day I celebrated my birthday with my mom. I totally didn't know I was going to but we did. It rocked.

I got to her house and chilled. She made me a summer sausage sandwhich and some tortilla chips and salsa and I ate in Jordan's room and listen to him play his saxophone. He's had 3 lessons so far. Then I watched him play his video game while I proceeded to play with his saxophone and make noise that sounded like a dying whale rather than a nice woodwinds instrument. (It is a woodwinds instrument right?). Then at around 1:50 we all went to see the last Harry Potter.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. For those of you who have some history with me, you will know that back in the day Harry Potter was my thing. I LOVED IT. And this movie was the bomb. Out of all of the movies this one was the best. And I even watched it from those up close spots where you have to get a kink in your neck just to properly view the screen and had an obnxious guy talking to his wife in the row behind me through the whole thing about how he like Hermione and Ginny and he forgot who the half-blood prince is. But I still enjoyed the movie. I actually wanna re-read the Harry Potter series sometime when I have a chance because I never read the last one and I really think I missed out.

I got to open my gift. WHICH WAS A DIGITAL CAMERA. Which got me excited and though it's not the best I don't have to mooch off of everyone just to get new myspace defaults and my mommy said if I took good care of this one and like it she'd buy me a better one next birthday. I went crazy nuts-o and took 100 pictures of mostly myself when ILLS that day. But yeah it was fun. My grandma is letting me order around 40 dollars worth of Avon so I almost went crazy picking it out because I have a make-up obsession as well as camera obsession. I ended up picking out:

3 different 8-in-1 Eyeshadow Compact (because I have an eyeshadow OBSESSIOM)
3 eyeliners; gray, emerald, and brown (so that i'll have black, purple, blue, green, gray and brown)
3 nail polishes that are cool colors
1 new demo of this Mark compact that has hot new fall shades of lip gloss, a blush, and eyeshadow

So yeah. I'm excited for that to come. Sometime this week Jade and I wanna see a movie. Nothing is really playing but we will prolly end up seeing I Love You, Beth Cooper. Idk. She said she could meet me at school after i'm out and have her mom drop us off at Tinseltown. So yeah I hope that's fun :) THEN... Thursday I see Justin!!!!!! WHO IS COMING HOME TODAY!!!!!!!!!! And I see Jaymie, well maybe, because I guess that some big drama happens and she probably hates me.

Here's what Justin said went down: He said that Zack was reading Jaymie's old texts about how Justin and I hated him because he's a jerk to Jaymie and then he was all pissed at Justin and was like how am I a jerk? And then Justin told him because you say names to Jaymie that imply she's fat, and you demand your way blah blah blah and then I guess he was just like oh. And then I guess Jaymie freaked out on Justin for telling Zack the reasons we think he is a jerk. I'm like wow. He IS a jerk. I'm sorry to break it to you. His true colors are really showing and he's not good enough for her. So yeah. I dunno. I hope this shit doesn't ruin my 16th Birthday though...

I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE WHAT JUSTIN GOT FOR ME FOR MY BIRTHDAY!!! He said that the real gift I have to wait awhile for but he wants to buy me something else to open on my actual birthday. He dropped some major hints as to what the first gift is:
HINTS:

Me and my dad were at a jewelry store
I had to make a down payment on your gift
It will take a few weeks to get

So hmmmm any hints?! Someone HELP ME! I really really really wanna know. :) I can't wait. I'm gonna go post some more pictures that I took and then go do homework eat Chex Mix, take more pictures, call Jaymie and see if there's a problem, and maybe check on Noah (my neopet) TTYL

LYL
MUAH

LOVE DEZZY!

Discouraged.

2009-07-16T19:43:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone.
I am super duper cranky and annoyed. I came home and was looking forward to comments but all I ever get is complaints. Oh there's too many facts, I didn't even read this. If you don't like it then don't come to my blog! It's as simple as that. My goodness. Like it's my blog. And for 2. Bob is the one himself who said and I quote:

"You can never have enough goofy facts." -Bob

So if you can never have enough then why are you complaining there are too many? I don't know I'm just super cranky because the last few days haven't gone well with our kids and I'm just thanking God it's over.

I'm just really discouraged because all people ever do is complain to me. I kinda get sick of it after awhile. Like can't someone tell me something good about their life ever? If you are gonna yell at me in a comment then don't leave one. I'm sorry that I'm like this right now. But I'm sick of people right now. Debbie comes outside during games and Jaymie, Brittany, and I were finishing up the crafts our kids didn't finish in the grass. She comes over to us and is like control your kids. And I'm all like well they don't listen anyway and we are doing there crafts. Well you have to at least try. I'm like we have tryed they are fine. And she was all dessip. Then someone came up to her and was all wow your sons a little run away. And she's like yeah really i know. Like control your own kids then tell me about mine. Like ugh. I don't I'm prolly saying things I don't mean right now. I'm just so ANGRY! *sighs* I hope you guys don't hate me. I'm sowwy. It's just that comments are my encouragement and I come home all discouraged already because Jaymie's all trying to embarass me or whatever that was when she was all making fun of me for saying I felt emotionally attached to our children to Brittany. Like yeah I did so what? It's not my fault I love people. And I know It's hard sometimes but at least I tried okay? Get off my case. I'm super tired. Jaymie is hanging out with Kcaz tomorrow. I'm doing nothing tomorrow. Then I'm seeing my mom on Saturday and I guess Jaymie is going down to Mudelaine. Prolly just so she can ditch me right before church... Ugh. Well I'm gonna go.

Happy Random Fact Day! [Stole Idea from Jaymie...http://jamais94.blogspot.com/]

2009-07-15T14:14:00.000-07:00

Jedi is an official religion, with over 70,000 followers, in Australia. A rat can fall from a five story building without injury. A Russian man who wore a beard during the time of Peter the Great had to pay a special tax. A sneeze can travel as fast as 100 miles per hour. All clams start out as males; some decide to become females at some point in their lives. Ancient Egyptians slept on pillows made of stone. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch procejt at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosnt mttaer waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. Betsy Ross was born with a fully formed set of teeth. City dwellers have longer, thicker, denser nose hairs than country folks do. Clinophobia is the fear of beds. Club Direct, a travel insurance company in Britain, provides insurance plans for protection from falling coconuts. Each nostril of a human being register smell in a different way. Smells that are made from the right nostril are more pleasant than the left. Fingernails grow fastest on the hand you favor. Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails. German chemists made a replica of a trophy the size of one molecule. Given the opportunity, deer will chew gum and marijuana.

Saturday mail delivery in Canada was eliminated by Canada Post on February 1, 1969!In Tokyo, a bicycle is faster than a car for most trips of less than 50 minutes!There are 18 different animal shapes in the Animal Crackers cookie zoo!Should there be a crash, Prince Charles and Prince William never travel on the same airplane as a precaution!Your body is creating and killing 15 million red blood cells per second!The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache on a standard playing card!There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos! There is one slot machine in Las Vegas for every eight inhabitants! The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows. It was the fashion in Renaissance Florence to shave them off! Every day 20 banks are robbed. The average take is $2,500!The most popular first name in the world is Muhammad!Tablecloths were originally meant to be served as towels with which dinner guests could wipe their hands and faces after eating!Tourists visiting Iceland should know that tipping at a restaurant is considered an insult!One car out of every 230 made was stolen last year! The names of Popeye's four nephews are Pipeye, Peepeye, Pupeye, and Poopeye! google_protectAndRun("ads_core.google_render_ad", google_handleError, google_render_ad); Until the nineteenth century, solid blocks of tea were used as money in Siberia!The Nobel Peace Prize medal depicts three naked men with their hands on each other's shoulders!When glass breaks, the cracks move faster than 3,000 miles per hour. To photograph the event, a camera must shoot at a millionth of a second!A Boeing 747 airliner holds 57,285 gallons of fuel!A car uses 1.6 ounces of gas idling for one minute. Half an ounce is used to start the average automobile! The Philadelphia mint produces 26 million pennies per day! A lightning bolt generates temperatures five times hotter than those found at the sun's surface!A violin contains about 70 separate pieces of wood!It is estimated that 4 million "junk" telephone calls, phone solicitations by persons or programmed machine are made every day in the United States! It takes glass one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times!Forest fires move faster uphill than downhill!Almost half the newspapers in the world are published in the United States and Canada! ........1..2..3...breathe....and repeat........... The two-foot long bird called a Kea that lives in New Zealand likes to eat the strips of rubber around car windows!Most lipstick contains fish scales!Skepticisms is the longest word that alternates hands when typing!One ragweed plant can release as many as one billion grains of pollen!It's illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while you're sitting on a curb in St. Louis! The first product to have a bar code was Wrigleys gum! No piece of square dry paper can be folded more than 7 times in half!A group of geese on the ground is a gaggle, a group of geese in the air is a skein!Over 2500 left handed people a year are killed from using products made for right handed people!There are more than 10 million bricks in the Empire State Building!If you counted 24 hours a day, it would take 31,688 years to reach one trillion!Taphephobia is the fear of being buried alive!A crocodile always grows new teeth to replace the old teeth! The sun is 330,330 times larger than the earth!Clinophobia is the fear of beds!A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second! Porcupines float in water!Pinocchio is Italian for "pine eye"!The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog." uses every letter of the alphabet!The average life span of a major league baseball is 5-7 pitches!The Mint once considered producing doughnut-shaped coins!The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is "uncopyrightable"!The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds! During your lifetime, you'll eat about 60,000 pounds of food, that's the weight of about 6 elephants!Some ribbon worms will eat themselves if they cant find any food!Dolphins sleep with one eye open!The worlds oldest piece of chewing gum is over 9000 years old!In space, astronauts cannot cry properly, because there is no gravity, so the tears can't flow down their faces!There are more plastic flamingos in the U.S, than real ones! About 3000 years ago, most Egyptians died by the time they were 30!More people use blue toothbrushes, than red ones!A sneeze travels out your mouth at over 100 m.p.h.!Your ribs move about 5 million times a year, every time you breathe! google_protectAndRun("render_ads.js::google_render_ad", google_handleError, google_render_ad); In the White House, there are 13,092 knives, forks and spoons!Slugs have 4 noses!Recycling one glass jar, saves enough energy to watch T.V for 3 hours!Lightning strikes about 6,000 times per minute on this planet! Owls are one of the only birds who can see the color blue! The average American/Canadian drinks about 600 sodas a year!It was once against the law to slam your car door in a city in Switzerland!There wasn't a single pony in the Pony Express, just horses! Honeybees have a type of hair on their eyes! The starfish is one of the few animals who can turn it's stomach inside-out!Eskimo ice cream is neither icy, or creamy!A jellyfish is 95 percent water!In Bangladesh, kids as young as 15 can be jailed for cheating on their finals!The katydid bug hears through holes in its hind legs!A company in Taiwan makes dinnerware out of wheat, so you can eat your plate!More Monopoly money is printed in a year, than real money printed throughout the world!The elephant is one of the few mammals that can't jump! The penguin is the only bird who can swim, but not fly!Q is the only letter in the alphabet that does not appear in the name of any of the United States! One quarter of the bones in your body are in your feet! America once issued a 5-cent bill!You'll eat about 35,000 cookies in a lifetime! Wow!Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different!There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange, purple, and month! Interesting tries from our readers: orange: door hinge, melange (French for mix) purple: hurtle, durple?, turtle month: once, bunth?, hunchBabe Ruth wore a cabbage leaf under his cap to keep him cool! He changed it every 2 innings!Fortune cookies were actually invented in America, in 1918, by Charles Jung!A man named Charles Osborne had the hiccups for 69 years! Wow!A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue! google_protectAndRun("ads_core.google_render_ad", google_handleError, google_render_ad); Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!Here are some interesting numbers to look at! (*1997)166,875,000,000 pieces of mail are delivered each year in the U.S!1,525,000,000 miles of telephone wire a strung across the U.S!123,000,000 cars are being driven down the U.S's highways!85,000,000 tons of paper are used each year in the U.S!56,000,000 people go to Major League baseball each year!Bats always turn left when exiting a cave!The praying mantis is the only insect that can turn its head!In Tokyo, they sell toupees for dogs! There are over 58 million dogs in the U.S!Dogs and cats consume over $11 billion worth of pet food a year!Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails!Humans blink over 10,000,000 times a year! In the year 2000, Pope John Paul II was named an "Honorary Harlem Globetrotter."!Every second, Americans collectively eat one hundred pounds of chocolateA fetus develops fingerprints at eighteen weeks!The fear of vegetables is called Lachanophobia!.. More fears...There are approximately fifty Bibles sold each minute across the world!Every year, kids in North America spend close to half a billion dollars on chewing gum! google_protectAndRun("render_ads.js::google_render_ad", google_handleError, google_render_ad); An earthquake on Dec. 16, 1811 caused parts of the Mississippi River to flow backwards!A person uses approximately fifty-seven sheets of toilet paper each day!Honolulu is the only place in the United States that has a royal palace!One gallon of used motor oil can ruin approximately one million gallons of fresh water!More money is spent on gardening than on any other hobby!In 32 years. there are about 1 billion seconds!Rice paper does not have any rice in it! Baby robins eat 14 feet of earthworms every day! In England, in the 1880's, "Pants" was considered a dirty word!Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin!The blesbok, a South African antelope, is almost the same color as grapejuice!The average person laughs 13 times a day!Dogs can hear sounds that you cant!Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lightning than women!It is estimated that millions of trees in the world are accidentally planted by squirrels who bury nuts and then forget where they hid them! Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a novel, "Gadsby", which contains over 50,000 words -- none of them with the letter E!Of all the words in the English language, the word set has the most definitions!A toothpick is the object most often choked on by Americans!Every 45 seconds, a house catches on fire in the United States!The sun is 330,330 times larger than the earth!

The most used letter in the English alphabet is 'E', and 'Q' is the least used!There are more than 50,000 earthquakes throughout the world every year!The original name for the butterfly was 'flutterby'! Dogs and cats, like humans, are either right or left handed... or is that paws?!The opposite sides of a dice cube always add up to seven! Nose prints are used to identify dogs, just like humans use fingerprints! Bulls are colorblind, therefore will usually charge at a matador's waving cape no matter what color it is -- be it red or neon yellow!Apples are more efficient than caffeine in keeping people awake in the mornings!Smelling bananas and/or green apples (smelling, not eating) can help you lose weight! google_protectAndRun("ads_core.google_render_ad", google_handleError, google_render_ad); A hard working adult sweats up to 4 gallons per day. Most of the sweat evaporates before a person realizes it's there, though!The average ice berg weighs 20,000,000 tons!The poison-arrow frog has enough poison to kill about 2,200 people! A lump of pure gold the size of a matchbox can be flattened into a sheet the size of a tennis court!After eating, a housefly regurgitates its food and then eats it again!

VBS

2009-07-11T15:36:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone,

That quote is dedicated to Justin. He left for Michigan Saturday. I'm so sad :( I'll miss him so much. He will be gone until Sunday the 19th soo 5 days to go.

Last Friday was one of the greatest days of my life. Everyday I spend with him is though:) We had alot of fun! He brought his guitar like planned and I played it a bunch and I just hope you know I rock bahahaha. Not! He was trying to teach me Your Call by Secondhand Serenade because I love that song and I was the one who told him he should learn it but guitar is alot harder than I thought. lol. I can't hold down the strings good because it hurts. But I am going to learn someday. It's one of the instruments I want to learn before I die. Here they are:

Instruments I Want To Learn Before I Die:

Piano
Acoustic Guitar
Flute
Violin

Yeah random but I just thought you should know:) We sorted out my grandma's avon. and then we hs about 4 times ;) I loved it. She left us alone alot. Which was cool. We sat on my porch swing and played his guitar, rode our bikes around the block, had a tickle fight, blew bubbles and cuddled while watching a little bit of a spongebob episode. Then we went to Infusino's and ate there with my grandpa's friend Brian and his wife Trina and their little girl Tina. She is sooo cute and blonde :)

Then on Saturday I proceeded to let Tina tear apart my room. Long story short but Brian and Trina and lil' Tina have been over alot because my grandpa is working on stuff on the 69' Camaro, like a Cherrywood original restoration steering wheel and all that jazzy stuff. SO. My grandma told me to watch her...And she tore apart my upstairs room (also known as the ghetto room). I had Jaymie come over because we TOTALLY forgot we had VBS Sunday night and through Thursday. So she went through drama and finally got dropped off by her mom at her dad's so she could sleep over and go to church with me. When I walked over there to see how long she was taking there were these two emo looking girls sitting by the school. I had let my hair out of my clip and kinda shook it out as I was walking and there were like purring at me and saying things like "OW OW SEXY!" I was so scared I had never been hit on by lesbians before. I rang Jaymie's door bell in fear of being raped. We took a bunch of pictures Saturday night (I. We have two with Tina and a bunch of silly bathroom pictures where I'd turn out the light and we'd look creepy together. Like this one where it looked like she was leaning in to kiss me and I was looking demon-posessed at her. So funny. When she uploads them to myspace I will deffinately have to steal them and put them up:) We stayed up late doing random things...Like having me eat hot cookie dough that she brought over we were gonna bake that later caused me to wake up at like 6 and have a bad trip to the bathroom LMAO:) TMI! and she fed Magic Shell to me by squeezing the stuff in my mouth. LOL yum. :) not. ahahaha.

Then on Sunday like I said earlier I woke up at 6 (bahahaha) and ended up painting my nails Fuschia. Then I got yelled at for painting my nails in my room which I thought was YAG sa lehh! I was trying to find my skirts but remembered I brought my laundry downstairs in an attempt to wash them before lil' Tina came over. All I could find was this blue Hollister dress that came down mid-thigh. I was like oooh don't wanna scare the church so I paired it with these gray leggings. When I came out of the room. My grandma was all. Your not wearing that to church right? I was like yeah. This is the only thing I have cleaned. Since you had me watch Tina yesterday I didn't get to do my OWN laundry. She was like you should have said can you watch your kid I have things to do. Now this made me mad. She's the one who GNIKCUF told me to watch her. So we got in a mini fight and I ended up downstairs picking through my dirty clothes. But then she made me wear this formal dress. The one that's black and champagne. And I really let my boobs show just to upset her and the church. No one said I looked cute.Except Roberta's little whatever she is who told me my dress was pretty and she liked it.

After church we went to Subway and Jaymie and I were completely crazy. Instead of our usuals we had our friend who had a band aid on his lip make us this Chicken Bacon Barbeque Sandwhich and it ROCKED. I sooooo recommend. Then we got Salsa Sunchips and Harvest cheddar Sunchips. We ate and then got ready for VBS. I talked to Justin for 5 minutes or less. Actually I think we talked for 2 minutes and 53 seconds. Literally. In that whole day. Yeah. I know CRAZY.

Then me and Jaymie got ready to meet our crews. I was so happy because the way they do it is they put two crews together and Pat said she'd put Jaymie and I together. We were really happy. We are crews 5+6.

On our first day we had 9 kids that God were us with. You'll see them later in pictures but on that first day I worked my hardest to get to know them. Learn there names. And I got it down quickly. I feel connected with my kids. When they hurt I do and God is speaking to me through them and using them to reach me. My heart is breaking for the pain that these kids tell me they go through. Our first day we had: Kelsi, Rai-yanah, Kevin, Joshua L., Joshua P., Anastacia, Mikey, Holly, and Emilie.

God used Kelsi this first day. I was in the bathroom with Holly and Kelsi ran along and yelled wait for me! Kelsi had been super clingy to both me and Jaymie and I was just praying that God would give me the strength to be the one that would listen to her and love her. When we were in that bathroom, Kelsi told me that her grandma was dying in the hospital, and she was staying with her other grandma. Her mom was really sick. She was sad because she hadn't been away from her more than 2 days and it was going on for a week now. She said she had close friends that were very very sick in the hospital as well. She told me that she was sorry she was so shy. I didn't know what to say. I was fighting the tears. I just told her she wasn't a problem. All I could think was: I get it God. I believe God gave me Kelsi to show me that I'm selfish. I'll admit it. Kelsi has shown me that there are people that hurt more than me. We all hurt in our own way. All I see is my tiny little world full of me and my suffering, my hurts, my pain, and really there is this world FULL of people that go through worse than me. My dad is dead. So are alot of peoples. I was sexually abused and assaulted. So what! So are alot of people I'm not letting my pain hold me back anymore. I want to help other hurting people.

Day Two.
Today God sent us more little children. Our group grew from 9 to 12. In addition to the pre-mentioned kids we had: Paul, Tatiana, and Cortez. When the kids brought back their little journals Kelsi was really proud of hers and ran to show Jaymie and I right away. She was warming up little by little. Cortez at first was really against things. He was more into asking questions about the projection screen than about what we were supposed to be listening to. I needed patience. As time went on Cortez warmed up and he was the sweetest thing. He would give me hugs and hold my hand as we went from station to station. God worked through me this day through Rai-yanah. During crafts the kids were making these Crocodile Clips. They made a little foam crocodile and it had a clip hot glued onto it. The kids had to write an encouraging note to someone having a hard day. Rai-yanah showed me hers. She had me read it. It said something along the lines of:
Hi Dad. I love you. Will you stop fighting with Mom and throwing food at her in front of the kids? Everyone was crying when we saw you yell at Momma.
Love, Rai-Yanah

Again this broke my heart. I know I'm a total dork. I'm getting emotionally attached to these kids and it's really none of my business. God has been sending me this kids that are filled with pain. And I'm not quite sure why. All I can do alot of the time is love them and encourage them. I have nothing fancy to tell them. But I think it's working. Kelsi is warming up. Today she made friend with Emilie and they even sat together EVERYWHERE. I've just been really happy that I did this. I know at first I dreaded it but now I can't wait to see my kids.

Monday night, I prayed for my kids for an hour. I prayed for each one by name. I cryed for them. Yes I am lame like that. But that's pretty much it. Balancing my kids, Justin, Summer School, and a full time BFF, Jaymie is getting easier and easier and I don't know how. I have more to do. But I get it all done.

Love you!
Dezzy

Early Morning Discoveries

2009-07-10T06:52:00.000-07:00

http://www.myspace.com/desirsauvage

That just happens to be my myspace link. If you would like to further stalk me hit me up there. I love friends:) Even though I'm lacking them. ahahaha. Also one of my favorite bands HN (Hawk Nelson) has come out with a song and it's the first one on my playlist on there. So give it a listen. It's called Live Life Loud:) I also have some All Time Low and Soulja Boy on there. Just fyi.

Okay now let's officially start this weekend:) TGIF!

First though let me tell you about my early morning discovery... okay well I woke up early and I was looking for the cordless phone. But it wasn't on it's charger thing so I searched in her room on top of her dresser. I was ruffling through her things and I turned over these 2 pictures. I had been looking for these pictures for a long time. One was of my dad and me. In front of his silver Jeep license plate CEK-481, yes I have that memorized. I'm about Holly's age or younger. I'm wearing that purple sweater that my mom had another picture of me being pushed in a swing. In this picture he's holding me...and I have my arms around my neck and I'm hugging him and looking at the camera. And I look like him. I belong to him. And it momentarily broke my heart. The other picture. Is of his house. I look at how big it is. He designed it. Picked the pretty wood that had to be imported for that staircase that I sometimes visit in dreams. I still see everything about that house. It went on the market after I visited it. For around half a mill. He never lived in it. Ever. I started to bawl my eyes out and I took the pictures with me. I called Justin on the cord phone. And cryed to him.
I wish I could hug you -Justin
I want you to hold me! -Desiree
I feel better now though. It just kind of made me sad. Looking at that picture. My mom said she loved that Jeep. It had seat warmers she tells me. He loved me she says. I always wanted to see him she says. My grandma wouldn't let me she said. This is my moment where I wish I could go into the past. Be that girl in the picture. The girl who has a daddy who's holding her. And hugging her. Who takes her for rides in his Jeep with the seat warmers and license plate CEK-481...

Playlist of the Day:

We Are Broken- Paramore
My Hero- Paramore
Emergency- Paramore
My Heart- Paramore
Diary of Jane- Breaking Benjamin
Adore- Paramore
Stuck On You- Paramore
Let The Flames Begin- Paramore

Okay I need to lighten up this mood a bit listen to this funny quote:

Dezzy Miilu says:
whats that thing you put clothes in
it has drawers
and
you put clothes in it?

Desiree Miilu = The best thing to ever happen to me says:
a dresser?

Dezzy Miilu says:
A DRESSER!!!!!!
thanks you rock
love yah

Can you say blonde moment? ahahaha. Like I said yesterday Justin comes over today! :D And I didn't even finish one full lesson. All I did yesterday was play Neopets because I'm like super competitive with Justin about who has more money in the bank :P I currently have: 130,000. He has: 133,510. UGH! That's it! Noah can't eat today. lmao.

Quotes Of The Day:
Presence is more than just being there. -Malcolm Forbes
Failure is success if we learn from it. -Malcolm Forbes

The first quote is one of Justin's favorite quotes and I got it from him. SO thank Justin for our quote of the day;)

Okay my grandma brought something up the other day that I would like to discuss. It is the topic of Groups vs. One on One. She was complaining because all I ever wanna do is hang out with people one on one as apposed to a huge abs group. But here's the thing I like hanging out one on one ALOT better. Here's my reasons why.
Reasons Why Hanging w/Only One Person At A Time Is Better Than Hanging In Groups:

People act different in front of more people and they are more likely to be real with you one on one.
I like to actually get to know people and build our relationship rather than just mingling kind of shallowly.
People piss me off sometimes.

So there you have it. That's why I like One on One better. :)

Bible Verse:

Philippians 4:13 (New Century Version)
I can do all things through Christ, because he gives me strength.

But I better go now.

Love you all! Peace ;)

Do you think he can see me? -Desiree

Yeah and I think he would be very proud of you -Justin

For crying? -Desiree

No for being an amazing girl. -Justin

But I didn't do anything -Desiree

You don't have to -Justin

270th Post

2009-07-09T13:41:00.000-07:00

Welcome My Beloved Followers To My 270th Post! Can you say YAY! It's the weekend! Thank Jesus in the heavens above!!? Because I sure can. I know your like checkin your calendars thinking to your self "uhmm this girl is nuts it ain't the weekend yet it's just Thursday and she's trippin or somethin." But my weekend starts the second I am out of that treacherous exhuasting summer school.

Speaking of treachery...History actually went good today. I started the day off with a 100% on A TEST!!! :) But then I went at a slower but steady pace. 10:20 I took a break bought some Flamin' Hot Cheetos which I know that you would love to be informed has been my current addiction. And in case you are wondering It's a terrible addiction. My right hand's pointer finger and thumb have been stained this reddish color that no soap can do any good. It's crazy. lol. Then 11:11 rolled around and I did my standardized wishing.

11:11 Wishes:

For lunch to be here
To get a good grade on this test/quiz/assignment
2:00 PM to roll around sooner
Justin and I to get married
More Flaming Hot Cheetos

lol. That's pure addiction I just hope you know! This morning was sooo exhausting. I woke up at 5:30 like always. But fell asleep again until 6:30. Then scrambled around trying to pack my lunch and get everything together. I wanted to just go back to bed.

Oh and btw Wednesdays are so odd now without youth group. Even though my grandma said awhile ago they are "Her Day" they are so boring and missing something...*cough cough* YOUTH GROUP *cough cough* lol. It's nothing to hide I guess without youth group a Wednesday isn't a Wednesday. It's like Desiree without Justin. Jaymie without baby hippos (not being cruel that's what her bf calls her). My grandma without Avon (which by the way didn't come today which really got me upset I really wanted my eyeshadow). Yeah so as you can see Wednesdays are lacking some spunk. Bahahaha. I said spunk. That's so weird. Anyways yesterday was worship team. Our practices have been really short lately. And there is like no one on worship team anymore it's icky. No Deana. No Michael. No August. Now that's what I call LAMEE. Oh well. Sue and I are on so things will be good. I like singing with Sue the best anyway.

The picture are all just random so don't be concerned when you see they don't correspond with this. I'm finally gonna put up some Bob's Last Day Photos. So stay tuned for those:

LMAO :) That picture of Ryan has me cracking up EVERY time:) He looks soooooo YRGNA!!!! okay. well anyways. lemme tell you whats happening this weekend for me...

Weekend Plans:

Tomorrow after my grandma gets out of work Justin is hanging out with me. He's bringing his guitar and we're gonna jam and he's gonna maybe help me with homework and stuff ;)
Saturday- nothing I'll probably be alone because Jaymie will be with Zack or at her momma's house and Justin is leaving for Michigan...CURSE YOU MICHIGAN!
Sunday-Early worship team, Sandy Sunday School, Church.

Justin sent me the links to these really good sermons that his church did. It was this God is Not series. It seems like a really cool series and I can't wait to watch those videos. I'll post the link up ASAP. But I really wish our pastor would talk about something that I'm really passionate about or that would interest me or something I at least wouldn't almost drift off during... I mean I used to still be taking notes in the ending prayer church was so good but now I tell myself I'm gonna take notes but then the topic of the sermon just doesn't interest me. I want to hear about temptation. faith. I wanna do a good study that I'm interested in but right now my pastor is on a series about having a Biblical Worldview...yeah not what I had in mind...

I stopped taking piano lessons in the month of July for now just an fyi. I talked with my piano teacher and she said it would just be easier for me not to have another thing to "have to-do". she said she wants piano to be something fun. Not a have to do. So for now I'm taking a break. (wow this post is getting long. lol)

She also told me that since Steve my music leader wouldn't allow us to sing that special together we should put together a few songs of our own and go to my great grandpa's old nursing home and perform them their for the residents. I thought that was a good idea. Angie (my piano teacher) is really nice. She gave me advice of how to deal with my grandma and Justin. She told me to sit her down and point out what I see in him that is good. And do a dating devotion together. Which we already do. Though this advice may not work it was still the thought that was nice. I'm happy that she was nice about things.

Jaymie is with Zack right now. She said they were at the mall. I hear from that girl less and less these days. She didn't even tell me the details to her laro session. How rude? I thought we were BFF? Lol jk. She will tell me all in good time. Like I have always told her things;) even if she'd rather not know. She loves jet planes let's just say that. lol :D

I have many things to do before Justin comes over tomorrow. I need to...
-take a shower
-clean the bathroom
-look good
-have a shaving party;)
yeah doesn't sound like alot put to thoroughly shave my legs it will take an hour at least. especially since i'm wearing a skirt tomorrow. and it takes me years to look good.

QUOTES OF THE DAY:
The world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it. -Hellen Keller
Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved. -Hellen Keller
The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it. -Albert Einstein

I'm just on a blogging roll right now. This may be my longest post in a very very very long time. Or in the history...? Anyone wanna check. lol just kidding. I better go though ;) I have like 14 history lessons to complete by Monday and I want to finish alot before Justin comes over.

1 Corinthians 10:13 (The Message)
No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it.

P.S. I read my Bible last night!! :)

Love you! Later! Happy 270th Post!

"Know what I want for my birthday?" -Desiree
"What?" -Justin
".. An engagement ring" -Desiree
"Awwww really?" -Justin
"...*blushes even though he can't see her* yeah" -Desiree
"Awww okay I'll have my mom help me pick out an engagement ring because I'm not good at that stuff. One time I was like at Wal-Mart and I was like mommm help me pick out an engagement ring for Desiree and she was like If you are ever serious about that, I will" -Justin
"Awwww really? I don't care if the ring is 2 cents. Just as long as it comes from you" -Desiree

Comparisons..Quotes! TIREDD

2009-07-08T14:09:00.000-07:00

Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second. Give your dreams all you've got and you'll be amazed at the energy that comes out of you. -William James

Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together. -Vincent Van Gogh

Those just happen to be the quotes of the day I just hope you know:)

Holy Moses am I tired! The day started off and I was just so eager to be back in my bed. I got in Mrs. Peden's van and fell asleep. Waking up at the big landmarks and abrupt stops just to see where I was and then let my eyes get heavy and the roar of the cars be my lullaby to sleep. Culvers. Airport. Subway. Aurora. And then you are there. And you have to get out of Mrs. Peden's tan van while still trying to pry your eyes open and walk up the flight of stairs and down the one lit up hallway to the SOS lab. Today was a hard day. I finished all that homework much to Mrs. Peden's delight.

Example:

"So how much did you get done of that homework I printed off for you?" -Mrs. Peden

"All of it" -Desiree

"ALL OF IT!? WOW! I didn't think you would finish all of that!" -Mrs. Peden

So Yeah I'm doing really well in English. I have 2 or 3 lessons left of my Novels unit but I have to read that book before that can be done. And tonight for homework I have the whole Poetry unit which I will finish and have entered in. Then I only have the Looking Back unit and I have my half credit which is nuts because I just started my summer school here 1 week and 1 day ago! Dang. I just realized I pretty much finished my half credit of English in 1 week and 1 day. Whoa.

I just got off the phone with Jade and we had some deep conversation about our school and those who attend there. She has been grounded off of her computer so if you are wondering where she has dissappeared to...that's where she's at.

So I guess Bob has been reading my blog after all. Which is odd since he hasn't been commenting. Oh well. I'm happy with the comments I do get. Which by the way hasn't been alot. But I'm all good. Just a little lonely on here:) lol. just kidding.

Well when I got home from summer school today I took a nap and it was the best one in a LONG time. Okay I'm having some issues because this girl is just tooo skinny and pretty:

Look at her. Holy Moses.

I wish I looked like that. But I just need to shut my mouth and be grateful for what I do look like which is this:

Sigh. I look cute. Right?

Better go do homework and what not. LOVE YOU GUYS!

"i love you with my soul.......and no matter what the distance is......its not gonna go away i know at times we fight...but i wanna be with you....i wanna .....love you make you happy" -Justin

P.S. Justin just said:

and you dont measure up to her because she isnt the girl to be measured up to you are your the perfect girl your everythign i wanted ever

sorry too cute to keep to myself:)

I'm out

Under Constuction and Reconsideration and Exhaustion...

2009-07-07T15:17:00.001-07:00

That's what my blog is under right now, I just hope you know. Construction. My playlists and little gadgets will be up soon just don't forget my birthday is coming up in 2 weeks and 2 days! Oh and by the way my new favorite and overused phrase is "I just hope you know." Example of over use:

"I just hope you know is my new favorite phrase I just hope you know" -Desiree
*laughter* -Jaymie
"Dangit! I didn't even realize I said it!" -Desiree

Things I Want For My Birthday:

Victoria's Secret Lip Gloss
All Time Low CD's (yes i'm old school and listen to CD's bite me :P)
Any other CD I may like
A Day with Justin and Jaymie
A Day with Jade
A Trip to an Extravagent Value Village ahahaha jk
Movies (all the good ones I haven't seen and seriously need to even if they are old)
Barnes + Nobles Gift Card
Starbucks Gift Card
Pac Sun Gift Card
Trip to the Beach
Birthday ;) Celebrations
Kisses (Justin only please)
Hugs (this can be anyone that doesn't have AIDS lmao)
Sunglasses
Cute homemade gifts:) like Justin's Anniversary gift

Yeah so get out your money. And your creativity. And your calendars. And give me your gifts!

Whoa! Just thought I would say: Bob actually talked to me. Lmbo. I was appalled. I mean wow. That was interesting. He was just pumped there was scripture. I really want to read my Bible more but I am just so swamped lemme demonstrate for you:

TO-DO LIST FOR TONIGHT

[X's mean it's completed]

9 Lessons of English [X]
7 or 8 Lessons of Word History [ ]
Inhale McDonalds [ ]
Piano Lessons [ ]
Shower [ ]
Braid Hair [ ]
Read In His Steps a novel for English [ ]
Call Jaymie and Have Her Not Answer Because She is With Zack [X]
Say Hi To Justin When He Stops By With His Friends [X]
Talk to Justin At 8:00 PM [ ]
Read Bible?
Read My Why Does God Allow Suffering Book?

Yeah you see where the Bible and my book fall? So I'm going to try to focus on just one scripture a day because that's all I can manage right now.

Today's Verse:
Romans 8:18 (Contemporary English Version)
I am sure that what we are suffering now cannot compare with the glory that will be shown to us.

I am sooo exhausted. Summer School Work has been piled on and I'm going crazy. SMS! As in save my soul not our. :P aha. unless you want yours saved too. Then SOS! in this place. Okay sorry. I'm so weird today, I just hope you know. Dangit. I better go too much homework and stuff to be done :S

Love you!

"I LOVE YOU DESIREE!" -Justin yelling out of his friend Nathan's car he was hanging out with him and Heather and Heather's brother today.

*Just looks up and watches his head pop back in the window and him disappear down her street with a smile of satisfaction lighting up her face and thinking yeah heather you heard him DESIREE not HEATHER* -Desiree

Cookie Dough Come True

2009-07-06T14:30:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the random title changes. I might change it again so don't be alarmed when you have no clue what my blog's name is anymore:) lol. I was getting sick of the My Life as a Pro Poster title I mean I've had it since the 7th grade so I thought the roller coaster title was a good place filler. Even though my URL is www.ikeepdreaming.blogspot.com you'd think my title would be about dreaming. But if you thought that think again cause you thought wrong. aha.
Enough random talk about my stupid URL/Blog title. You guys could care less. ahahaha.

Playlist of the Day:

Kid Cudi- Day N' Nite
Pink- Please Don't Leave Me
3Oh!3- Don't Trust Me
Lady GaGa- Lovegame
Sean Kingston- Fire Burning
The Black Eyed Peas- Boom Boom Pow
Miley Cyrus- The Climb

I hope I don't get any complaints about my text again. Lol. Just kidding.

All men have a sweetness in their life. That is what helps them go on. It is towards that they turn when they feel too worn out. -Albert Camus

I just hope y'all know that was the quote of the day. I just read a blog post and it really got to me. You should check out this girl's blog because she rocks and I love her. I'll put her url at the end of the post so that you won't be tempted to leave because she has way better points than me :) but here's what she said:

"Complaining about every little problem when you have a great life can make you out to be ungrateful. And what exactly do those [not really] miserable writers expect? Do they expect everything to go their way, have all that they want, never having trouble, being perfect? What kind of life is that?" -anni[eek!]

Now this girl is one that gets life. I wish I understood life like her. I guess that's my problem I don't quite understand things don't go the way we want them to. I have to accept it and move on. So thanks anni[eek!] for your great quote:) Don't forget to read that blog peepz.

So far today has been a good day minus the fact that I have been zombie-like. I went through a whole unit today and like 5 quizzes. I got 9 lessons worth of homework and I only have 3 to go.

BIBLE QUOTE:

Psalm 119:145-156 (The Message)
I call out at the top of my lungs,
"God! Answer! I'll do whatever you say."
I called to you, "Save me
so I can carry out all your instructions."
I was up before sunrise,
crying for help, hoping for a word from you.
I stayed awake all night,
prayerfully pondering your promise.
In your love, listen to me;
in your justice, God, keep me alive.
As those out to get me come closer and closer,
they go farther and farther from the truth you reveal;
But you're the closest of all to me, God,
and all your judgments true.
I've known all along from the evidence of your words
that you meant them to last forever.
Take a good look at my trouble, and help me—
I haven't forgotten your revelation.
Take my side and get me out of this;
give me back my life, just as you promised.

Today after summer school my teacher/carpool Mrs. Peden the one who loves me took me to Culver's for ice cream. And my craving for cookie dough was releaved. That's pretty much my day so far. I will probably hang with Jaymie again tonight. But I'm getting to bed really early cause I was soooo tired today

I'm gonna go now. Love you all!

P.S. Here's anni[eek!]'s URL: http://aiharaex35.blogspot.com/ :)

"What are those scratches on your side?" -Jayme, my 8 year old sister

"Oh you'll find out" -Desiree

Random Outbursts, Water Art, and AHSAS :)

2009-07-05T19:26:00.000-07:00

Dear Bloggers,
Read the following for random outbursts and what not:)
HAPPY BELATED FOURTH! Yah know the 4th has always kinda been strange to me. I mean what kind of name is that? I mean could you be any less creative? Like you coulda called it light off fireworks until 2 AM and annoy the crap out of your neighbors day. Or perfect view of K-Town beach and sky and moon and fireworks with my boyfriend day, like mine. Or even be ghetto and go to Ray-town and dig a hole on the beach in the sand with flip flops and sit with your BF's reggin spil. That last one is a shout out to Jaymie. I love you!

Church today was good I think I might actually read my Bible.

"Baby, I want a new Bible!" -Desiree
"Honey, do you even read your Bible?" -Justin
"No." -Desiree
*both start cracking up*

That was a few weeks ago at treasures with Justin.

My 4th of July was perfect. It was even better than I imagined. There was the most perfect view...of Justin:) all lit up by the beautiful fireworks. My favorite fireworks are the sparkley ones that kinda crackle. Or those ones that look like weepy willows as they fall.

It was akward at church a bit today though. It was Bob's first day back since God knows when. I didn't even talk to him. Or make eye contact. Or anything really. Well I take that back we did a neighborly wave in the parking lot but I don't know things are weird now. It's like I never knew the dude and he was practically our youth group father. I don't know. Maybe I'm just PMSing. ahaha. jk. or am I?

SO
Tomorrow I'm back to hitting it hard producing work like my grandmother produces ugly outfits. Yeah that's alot, I know. I'm all ready for bed right now. My hairs all braided and I smell like sweet pea body wash that Justin got me for Christmas and my Redken shampoo and I'm really tired. It has been a long weekend

Today Jaymie and I recapped our weekends to one another over a cook-out and while she was telling me about it she told me about this game that the kids at her step-brother, Patrick's, birthday party. I guess that they had a cup of water and they all took a sip and they had to see who could go the longest without having to spit it out from making eachother laugh. And the last one standing wins. I was like hey we should play. So we each got one of my frosted glasses with the red snow flakes on it.
Jaymie won like everytime. Except for this one time I said AHSAS. It started as that game but we kept on getting refills for spitting our water on the cement to form things and letters. Names and shapes. We had a water spitting contest and spit the water so it would make funny noises and in the process had water dripping all down the front of us.
Then I had a sudden craving for cookie dough ice cream. So we were gonna make cookies and just eat there babies (dough) before they could mature (cookies) ahahahaha. sounds terrible. But then I got discouraged cause mommas little baby (me) couldn't find no shortening. aha. So then we got on our bikes. Water stained shirts and all even with my super ghetto chain that has been slipping on and off and bought 2 large blizzards. That was the first time I got a large. It was yummy. I ended up getting Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. lol.

All in all a good weekend
But I better go
Love you all, hope you missed me:)
Dezzy

100 Truths :)

2009-07-02T19:57:00.000-07:00

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. last beverage = punch
2. last phone call = Justin
3. last text message =no phone
4. last song you listened to = Everything I Ever Wanted-HN
5. last time you cried =yesterday
HAVE YOU EVER:

6. dated someone twice = nope
7. been cheated on = yeah
8. kissed someone & regretted it = I've been kissed and regretted it but I've never kissed someone they kissed me.
10. been depressed = uhmm DUH have you read my blog?
11. been drunk and threw up = bleh no

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. hot pink
13. lime green
14. aqua blue

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Made a new friend = yessur
16. Been out of the state = yes
17. Laughed until you cried = Yeah :)
18. Met someone who changed you = nah Justin met met me 2 years ago ;)
19. Found out who your true friends were = omg DEFF
20. Found out someone was talking about you = yeah it was so gay
21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend's list = yes my bf

GENERAL:
22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life = i know all of them
24. Do you have any pets = we have 2 cats but only ones mine. Her names Mocha:)
25. Do you want to change your name = nah but I love the name Vanessa or Zoey or Marissa
26. What did you do for your last birthday = Justin came over. He gave me an HN t-shirt. Ate at Qdoba. Ice Cream at Cold Stone. Youth Group:)
27. What time did you wake up today = 5:40 pretty late :S
28. What were you doing at midnight last night = sleeping :D
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for = my birthday and 7-1-11
Last time you saw your Mother = last week Friday or Thursday
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life = I wish youth group was back
32. What are you listening to right now = nothing suprisingly
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom = actually no
34. What's getting on your nerves right now = on arb ;) bahahaha it's code don't worry
35. Most visited webpage = blogger. neopets:P
36. Where do you want to be right now? = with Justin
37. Nicknames = Dez, Dezzy, baby, wifey, cutie, beautiful, pookie head:D
38. Status = taken
39. Zodiac sign = Leo
40. Male or female? = female
41. Elementary? = I went to 5 different schools 3 in my hometown, 1 in a new town, and 1 more in a different town (i dont want stalkers) ahahaha
42. Middle School = 1 school back at my hometown then my private school
43. High School=CLS
44. Hair colour = dark brown
45. Long or short = medium
46. Height = 5'11"
47. What are you doing right now = blogging:)
48: What do you like about yourself? = i dont know
49. Piercings = ears
50. Tattoos = naw
51. Righty or lefty= righty:)

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery = none
53. First piercing = ears when I was a few months old
54. First best friend = Nicole Reynolds :)
55. First kiss = Justin
56. First vacation = Florida or Ohio
58. First crush = this boy in my 1st grade class named Eliazar Martinez

RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating = nothing no food or drink is really allowed in my computer room
60. Drinking = read #59 please
61. I'm about to = sneeze....HACHO!:D
62. Listening to = my grandma talk about Avon to someone
63. Waiting for = this to end so I can go to sleep :D

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids? = Yes! Deffinately! I will cry if I can't have them and then adopt.
65. Get Married? = on 7-1-11 baby
66. Career? = unknown... wife and mother so far:)

THIS OR THAT:
67. Lips or eyes = eyes
68. Hugs or kisses = kisses
69. Shorter or taller= shorter :)
70. Older or Younger= older
71. Romantic or spontaneous = romantic
72. Nice stomach or nice arms? = nice arms
73. Sensitive or loud = sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship = relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant = trouble maker

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger = rather not talk about things like this :'( it makes me remember
77. Drank hard liquor = heck no
78. Lost glasses/contacts = yeah in my room
79. Sex on first date = nope
80. Broken someone's heart = idk
81. Had your own heart broken = yes
82. Been arrested = ahahaha no
83. Tripped up stairs = all the time! :D
84. Cried when someone died = I cried when an ant died so DUH!
85. Fallen for a friend = yes:)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself = nah
87. Miracles = yeah
88. Love at first sight = :)yes
89. Heaven = yeah
90. Santa Claus = naw
91. Kiss on the first date = sure:)
92. Angels = yupp

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
95. Did you sing today? yes
96. Ever cheated on somebody? = no
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go, and why? = around fall to the night before the corn maze to change something stupid i did
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? = Yesterday or First Friday or First Kiss
99. Are you afraid of falling in love with somebody else? = i dont get it?
100. Posting this as 100 truths? = sure am:)

Videos... I Love Shane :)

2009-07-02T17:34:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iiM__qYYhI&feature=channel http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDTSBqVotwI&feature=channel http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5b2qGfJHK3E&feature=channel

Note To You: I looked lovely yesterday.

2009-07-02T15:52:00.000-07:00

Dear Bloggers:
Yesterday was the best day of my life:) It was super fun. I woke up got on my purple skirt and that white Hollister shirt with a lavender tank underneath. I called Justin and we talked for awhile. Then Mrs. Peden was at my house to pick me up. I got into her tan van and she told me I looked "lovely" today. I told her thank you. We rode in semi-silence. She's always really nice to me. She dropped me off by the front door because she said I would get wet and melt. I hit it hard on all my homework and work and got done 8 things in each subject and 2 of which were quizzes. I got picked up at 12:30. We picked up Justin. Everything got better the second he was in sight. He came out with an off-brand coke in one hand and his camera case and my CD in the other, his hair freshly showered and all wet and crazy, just the way I like it:D He got in and I told him how gorgeous he looked. He told me I looked beautiful. My grandma got gas from my car and he snuck a kiss;) We went to the grocery store to pick up things for supper. Justin and I wandered around the aisles. Looking at magazines and foreign food and the dollar items. We finally found my grandma checking out so we took the 3 bags and carried them out. Justin with 2. Me with 1. We went home and I gave him my box. He said he loved it. He opened it and put on the bracelet I made him. It fit him perfectly:) We went in my basement and played Rock Band on our band named DEZ!JUSTIN!ROCK! We did pretty well. Then I read my homework out loud. He helped me:D I finished my homework and we went for a bike ride. Our bike ride took us to Treasures. We browsed a bit. We left. We went to the baseball field and snuggled there. He was warm and I felt safe with him. We went home and ate sloppy joes. We went in my basement again and played Pachisi and watched bits of The Notebook. We took pictures. Went for another bike ride up to the fountain. Sat there. Snuggled. It was getting colder. I made this quote book for him and couldn't get the pictures to print but I came home and got it to print. It made the day that much more amazing. I cut and pasted on the way to church and finished it right before worhsip team practice. I hugged Justin goodbye and told him he was the best thing to happen to me. Ever. And Happy Anniversary. I love you. He left. I sang. We had a really short practice and Steve ended up taking me home. He reminded me that special I was singing is THIS SUNDAY. I came home got in my PJ's and highlighted key points for my history quiz tomorrow (today). I went to sleep.

Today
I woke up at 5:40. I called Justin. I got dressed and put my hair up in a clip with my "bangs" sloppily falling out and kinda crazy up-did:) I wore my navy blue capri sweat pants and my blue striped tank top and Justin's sweater over. Mrs. Peden came to pick me up again. She said that my hair looked pretty. She wished she could do something with her hair like mine that would make her look good and my eyes are pretty. I got to school and got right down to work. I took the quiz and got a 76% a C. Did another lesson on Persian Civilization and got a 100%. Took quiz 4 and got 88% or a B. I did my work until 10 something when Mrs. Peden told me to go take a break. I went to the vending machine and bought myself a subsantial amount of food;) I ate Cheeto's and a Chewy Granola bar. I walked back upstairs. I switched to Glenn's mom Mrs. Owens who was my English helper chic. She took forever. I sat there for an hour. At 12:00 she left but today I was staying until 2:00 when Mrs. Peden left and would take me home. I worked on my English and on Monday I have a quiz. I got 4 or 5 packets of homework and am studying for a history test. Mrs. Peden took me home around 2:30. She asked me my favorite food. I said I liked pizza and nachos. She asked me if I like mexican food. I said yes and I like spicy things sometimes. She asked if I have ever had a fresh tamale. I said no. She said maybe some time she could bring in tamales and we could share them together. She told my grandma on the phone yesterday I was hard-working and smart. Apparently she loves me:D aha.

Okay so now that I'm done with my semi-robotic recap...

I wanna say love you guys! HAVE A GOOD AND SAFE 4TH! Don't hurtcher selves. That was an example of informal english fyi :D bahahaha. (Jaymie says sheep laughter) ahahahaha. So yeah. I better go. Jaymie and I are going to craft night tonight because Chris is making her salsa and it's the best ever because it has ALOT of cilantro and I LOVE CILANTRO!
Bye For Now! :)
"Grandma can I get a cilantro plant for my birthday?"-Dezzy
"laughs"-Justin
"I dunno"-Grandma

Getting It Back Together

2009-06-30T14:36:00.000-07:00

Hello Again Readers.
Sorry if that was totally old-ish and that my posts have been really depressing lately. But tune in for a turn around. Because that's what my lifes doing again. A 180. Isn't it weird you don't say an 180? I mean it starts with an effing vowel...anyways...I've been doing a sort-of DIO therapy with Justin and if you were wondering why it's DIO not DIY. It's Do It Ourselves not Do It Yourself. Because there's no way I can do this myself. It's been hard but I have great friends and a great boyfriend and support from everyone so I feel a lot better. Justin has me reading and discussing this book "Why Does God Allow Suffering?". It's good for being on halfway through the second chapter but I fell asleep reading it last night And you'd be happy to know I miraculously didn't drool on the thing:) It's not that it was bad or anything I was just so effing sleepy. Anyways. Can you say ADD today? bahahahaha ;D The book is kind of helping me understand but get confused at the same time. Hence the need for a discussion with Justin Mr. Know-It-All:) Thank God for him. It makes me angry sometimes but then Justin puts it in a different light. And things make sense. So life is starting to go good again. I have started summer school back at CLS, my school. They have me doing History and my semester of English. And oddly I like it better than Horlick's summer school. All my work is on the computer so I can do things at my own pace. Today overall I finished 11 lessons and studied for 2 quizzes that I am taking tomorrow. I have a 98% in English and a 96% in History so things are great currently. And TOMORROW IS MY 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY WITH JUSTIN!

Here's my tribute to our year together: Memories I have of us:

First Kiss (July 15, 2008)
The first time we went to Taco Bell and sat at our table for two
How we said we were gonna give that taco to some homeless guy
"Earlier I felt like everyone was around but now there are more people and I only see you and me" -Desiree (right before first kiss)
My birthday
How you tryed to bring me to an HN concert for my bday gift:)
How you gave me HN T-shirt for my birthday and i fell asleep every night hugging it
When you would kiss me on my bed all around my little stuffed animals and cover there eyes :)
Watching Monsters Inc.
Watching August Rush
Watching Marley and Me and Having you watch me cry ;)
Every trip to the mall
Our double dates with Jaymie and Zack
PIGGY BACK RIDES!!! :O
"1...2...3...jump!"-Justin *pushes him and he falls over then cracks up laughing*-Desiree
When we went to the K-Town Carnival
When we went to Grant park with my mom on July 31st :D
The very minute we started going out July 1, 2008 10:56 PM
The night of the 4th of July where you told me you wanted to kiss me under the fireworks.
Our first beach date together.
How Jaymie had to force us to hold hands :D
The day after my birthday ;)
My pink tank top and my favorite short :D
Playing Guitar Hero in my brothers room
Playing Rock Band in my basement
Every car ride home ;)
New Year's Eve (our half a year)
Reading Love Dare together
Prom!!
Winter Formal
Slow dancing in your arms
That Time I read that book over the phone to you and Jaymie and Jaymie farted all weird like "eeehhhaehhhaeeee" :D:D:D:D (jaymie hates me now ahahahaha)
Every morning that we have talked together
Every day that I've gotten to be ur girl
Even though I hated it missing you when you are in Michigan
When you watched my baby videos at my house and I had to cover your eyes with a Timmy :)
When you came to youth group and we held hands during the prayer
That time you said "I don't care if people believe in us I just care that you believe in us"
That night we watched Notebook together over the phone :P
First Friday downtown
Six Flags together
That time i cryed over the ant and you thought I was cute
Bik riding around my neighborhood
Going on the playground and by the school ;)
Getting a foot massage :D
Going on the Wizzer at night with you
Seeing The Gameplan with you such a long time ago and wishing it was in your gameplan to hold my hand ;)
That time you called me pookie head!!!!
The day you asked me to marry you
Looking into your eyes and knowing you love me
Valentines Day!!
Having you sing me your first song
And the second one
And the third one! :D

Okay I could list like many many MANY more BUT i don't have time so yeah. For our anniversary I made him another memory box. This ones a light green with darker green paper (that I saved from his christmas gift) accenting. I even put a little green bracelet that I made inside. He's making me a CD of our favorite love songs and the 3 songs he's wrote for me are going to be on there. I can't wait to see him tomorrow it'll be great! Then I might see him again for 4th of July fireworks and maybe the parade and I'm gonna make that little dream of a kiss under the fireworks come true:) Then we might go to the zoo with my mom Friday so yeah. I'll post pictures of everything ASAP.

LOVE YOU GUYS!

LOVE YOU JUSTIN THANKS FOR A GREAT YEAR OF LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME. EVEN WHEN THINGS HAVE BEEN TOUGH AND LIFE HAS GOT HARD YOU NEVER GAVE UP ON ME. WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH AND I CAN'T WAIT TILL THAT DAY I SEE YOU AT THE END OF THE ISLE WAITING TO CALL ME YOUR WIFE. LOVE YOU JUSTIN! muah your pookie head !!!!!!!:D

Officially Out Of My Mind

2009-06-27T13:53:00.000-07:00

Can't talk long... but I just have to say I'm going crazy. Really. The other day I got really upset because this friend of Justin's wouldn't stop texting and calling him. It drives me nuts. DID I MENTION IT'S A GIRL? Yeah. And he tells her over and over that he's with me and doesn't even answer her calls. And she has no gnikcuf respect because she keeps on and keeps on. It makes ME SOOOOOOOOOOOO MAD! We are just sitting and snuggling and then itch-bay interrupts. I mean puh-lease. Leave us alone. She ruins things and I hate her. So today Justin called my house and my grandma answered. I heard my grandma talking to him about something but then she hung up without even asking for me to come to the phone. She comes by me and said oh he was asking about Treasures. Seemed like he was in a hurry. This started to eat away at me. Thoughts were racing through my head. I just sat on the couch and hoped to see his car go by. Since Treasures is like a few blocks away. I thought maybe he would stop by. He never did. So I asked my grandma if I could go for a bike ride. She said yeah. I went and monitered the parking lot....(i know re-read the title and then tell me im not out of my mind) for and hour and 10 mins. Sat there. Rode my bike around the parking lot. Ever car that looked even similiar I'd squeze my breaks and stop breathing. Just to be let down. He never drove by. Never. I was really sad. Ripped my eyes off the road. Told myself this one last wave of cars. But sat there for 3 more lights worth. Finally I was so sad I could've cryed... Well I did actually listen to this IM i sent to Justin later:
i was just sitting there and crying and hoping every car was yours even if it looked nothing like yours and i never saw you so i finally went home and cryed when my gma said i couldnt go out again because its too dangerous to bike ride on my own i went crazy started crying threw myself on my bed and bit myself pinched myself and tryed to hurt myself...i wish i couldve told you but there was no way i could have...now im crushed. i didnt even see you go past :'(
Turns out. He went there. The exact time. I was watching. Fuck My Life. It's always me who gets screwed over don't you see this? ....
I'm lonely. Sad. I dont have anyone around to hear me. Everyone is too busy. With their boyfriends. Or Avon. Or Museums. And I'm broken. And sad. And barely breathing....

...FML

2009-06-24T06:21:00.000-07:00

Today, was my birthday. After hinting for almost 2 months for a Wii, my dad pulls out a shiny new Wii Package. The only problem? The box didn't have a Wii in it. My dad gave me a Wii box with my VCR inside and a note saying "This is life. Once you think you're happy, someone crushes it". FML

That phrase is meant for me. I really thought I was starting to get it right though. I was really happy. Everything was perfect in my life. Well maybe not perfect but about as perfect as it gets. I liked taking the city bus to summer school. It made me feel in control. And now some random asshole who I knew for one day took all my control away from me. I feel powerless. Alone. Scared. I can't believe he did that to me. I don't even know his last name. Why me? Why again? Why God? Why?

worst day of my lifeee

2009-06-23T16:35:00.000-07:00

dont ask... :(

Know What's Really Beautiful?

2009-06-20T18:49:00.000-07:00

"Wake Up Dez!" my grandma yelled. "My alarm didn't go off so it's past the time you wanted to be woken up at! You have an hour though so I guess it don't matter."

It was 7:00 AM in the morning. Okay well let's be exact. It was 7:00 AM on Saturday morning. The only day I sleep in in my whole life. Hence the needing those extra 20 minutes. Those were my pry your eyes open and pinch yourself to be up by 7:00 AM on your only day you usually are sleeping 20 mins. Don't say they don't matter.

"I'm Up! I'm up!" I yelled. It was the morning of a car show. One down in Illinois. My grandparents were dragging me along. But I seriously kinda like car shows.

You are probably sitting there right now rechecking the URL to make sure this is really my blog or wondering if someone hacked into my account like some people have been lately. But I'm serious. Car Shows used to really be fun. Well back in my single day. Okay girls lets do the math. Car Show=Lots of Cars. Lots of Cars=Lots of Guys. Lots of Guys=More to Flirt With. Like my math? Lol. No adding or nothing. :D Ahahaha. That's why I usually needed those 20 mins. They used to be the hurry and look like the hot Girl Next Door 20 mins.

Now things are different. I'm committed to someone that I love so now car shows have a new meaning. But I want to go into the old meaning for you. I'm gonna be kind of blunt. So Beware. I crave attention. I love it. I need people. I need to be talked to. Complimented. Commented. Kissed. Loved. I NEED someone with me. And I know people are always like "I don't need anyone". But that person was never me. I NEED PEOPLE. And I know it.

As pre-mentioned, I love attention. And at car shows I get it. For those of you who don't know. My grandpa is known for his cars. He's known for how neat he keeps them and everyone of his friends will tease him about it. Even people who aren't his friends know him by his cars. For example at this one car show when I was sitting at the car with Jaymie while my grandparents were looking around. A man came up who was talking to another man. He was like "This is Milo's car". The man was like "Oh who's Milo?". The other guy was like "You know the one with the wavy hair" and he lifted his hand to his head and parted them down the middle in a wavy motion. Well he's know for that hair too. Lol.

But anyways. At Car Shows people notice me because I have a really hot car. Well I guess like we have 3 hot cars. Like I know it's pathetic. But I just love attention. Those of you who know me. Know this. But not to this extent. I mean I've always loved being on stage but you have never known how attention starved I am until now. Like I literally have a dialogue going in my head non stop wondering what people are thinking or wondering if they look at me. I do things so people will look at me. It's crazy what I will do for attention. And Car shows are always an easy way to get it.

All you have to do is get in a car. Riding in that car. People stop what they are doing and stare. And I love it. They smile at you. Look at you like a celebrity. I just love it. Especially since the cars are loud. They make noise and people turn and look. It rocks. Okay enough about my attention fetish I'm sickening myself. Back to where I was getting ready for the car show.

I was up and ready and waiting in the kitchen to eat. It was Saturday and we were almost ready to leave the house.

"So who's all going with us" I asked casually.
"Well Teddy, Sash, and Brian, his wife and their kids" She replied with her smile plastered on.
That last part is exactly what I was dreading. "How old are the kids?"
"Well the one is about Holly's age and the other is about 16, 15. Somewhere around your age" my grandma said as she rushed around stuffing various things that I know we would never eat or use.
Dang. This is always how it turns out. I'm babysitter. Or set-up badly with someone who has nothing in common with me. AND ON TOP OF IT I HAVE A BOYFRIEND GRANDMA! She'll never get it. I'm taken. End of story. Not exactly the end of this one though.

I rode with Teddy. He's nice. He let me set the radio to the station I wanted. But I like silence when I drive in my 89 Camaro. Dontcha love how I take possession even though I can't even drive? I do :) We got there.

And by the way if you were wondering about the boy my age. His name was James. He has purple hair. And he got straight F's this year. Great Set Up Grams.

It was the hottest day of my life in awhile. And I got a sunburn that hurts when i just raise my arms. I got some reading done and came home.

I asked my grandma if I could stay home instead of going to the Georgie Porgies car show and eating with them. I pigged out on those puffy Cheetos and talked with Justin on the phone. And I had a lot of fun. We had some deep conversations. I love deep conversations. I really do. We talked about God. And our beliefs. And about my attention problem. Justin said something that really got to me. Had me in tears actually. listen:

Me:The thing is I've felt God calling to me. Asking me to give-up things. But I'm not ready. And I ignore it. And I just feel like if I try to be good again it will be hypocritical because I'm only giving up whats easy and God wants us to do hard things.
Justin:Know what's really beautiful though?
Me:What?
Justin:He'll never give up. He'll never stop loving us. He'll always call us. And want to have a relationship with us. It's just so beautiful to me, to know that he loves us so much.

That was the best part of my Saturday. Talking with him. Otherwise uneventful.

Today during church the cross walker came to talk. It was actually really good. Not the same old stories he tells every single time. But I better get going. Robbie is coming over to my house to talk with my grandma. He got a job selling knives or something and he said Alissa is going to be with him. And I haven't talked to her since I got out of school. But I'm still wearing my church skirt and a random T-Shirt.

LOVE YOU!! AND I FORGOT HAPPY FATHERS DAY :P (i always forget since my father is dead) :D have a good day!

Rants+Complaints :)

2009-06-18T14:30:00.000-07:00

Okay. So I have had numerous complaints about the white on black. And here's what I say: Cry me a river build a bridge and get over it. Jk :) I've changed the text color just for all you blind people/colorly challenged... So if you don't like this color. I'll cry. And as my brother once said: "I love you as hard as I can cry" He was 4 at the time. Getting left home from a trip to the local Wal-Mart. My mom was pulling out and he yelled it. Yeah but now my brother is all grown up almost a teenager and even has a Mohawk he colors red each morning. I really feel like ranting today. So goal accomplished:)

Rant:
Okay so here's the thing. I volunteered to do a special music at my church on July 5th and I was really looking forward to it. I was gonna have Justin play acoustic and sing with me. I was gonna sing and maybe even recruit Jaymie to sing too. So I asked Justin first because Jaymie would be a tough cookie about it(don't ask about the cookie phrase it just came to me) and he was totally excited. He wanted to play and sing with me. So we spent hours and hours (literally) looking for a song that we really liked and that would be playable. We finally picked Slow Fade and I practiced the harmony over and over for like an hour. No joke. Don't believe me then ask Justin. I was so pumped to do that special! I was actually listening to alot of Christian music. Then the other day I told my grandma about my little plans and she said I should probably ask Steve before I went all out and planned it all out. Too late I thought. But last night I asked him anyways after our worship team practice. I was like could Jaymie or Justin and I do a special? Here's his reply: "Well maybe not Justin but Jaymie is okay. It would be like your grandpa showing up to church for 3 weeks and then ushering". That comment actually kinda hurt me. I mean my grandpa is unchurched wanna rub it in more? It was kinda like a slap in the face. I was about to cry. I was like okay. And I left. But here's what I'm thinking. Justin loves God. He goes to church. He just goes to such a big church he's never been asked to get involved. The thing is I think that if he has an attitude of worship and wants to worship and praise God with his talents then why should we deny him that right? I mean the other day Sue was going to sing with her niece and I haven't seen her once in my church. How is that fair? Why is it adults are allowed priviledges that are perfectly fine for teens to have? I actually went home and cried myself to sleep. I really wanted to sing it with him it was gonna sound soo good. Now I'm stuck without a male voice in a predominately male song. And I'm totally bummed. I don't even want to sing that special anymore...

So what better way to lighten a heavy mood than with a random video!? http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=11923 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3KEfW4wjjo

Enjoy that stuff. It's priceless:) Don't Drop That Sh*t! ;) yeah so. today I asked Jaymie to come over. You gotta book her early these days so I called her @ like 8:00 o'clock in the morning :D ahahaha. Yeah. I miss youth group already. But yesterday I picked up Justin and we played Rock Band. And I played him songs on my piano. We had my new favorite pizza. Roundy's Chicken Fajiita oh my guh. If you want good pizza buy that. Then we went to the park. We were gonna walk but my grandma said we didn't have enough time before my worship team practice. So I took pictures of the trees as she drove through. My grandma and Justin got in a fight and it ended with me in tears. But Justin did that thing with my fingers that makes me crack up. Cover up one and I'd try to wriggle it free and he'd hold it down and then hold down the next one:) He whiped away my tears and told me not to cry so I felt better.

Weekend plans:

Thursday-hang out with Jaymie sometime
Friday-Latricia's Birthday my grandma is making me go
Saturday-Zion Car Show
Sunday-Church

Well I better go! Jaymie is on her way over here and we wanna play volleyball outside and I'm still in pajamas! :)lyl

MUAH :D

Catch-Up

2009-06-16T12:40:00.000-07:00

Hey Y'all.

Thought I would get on to post finally. Well it's time for an update of what's going on lately. I'll start with last Friday!

Friday. Was a super amazing day! That is when summer officially started:) Justin finally got out of school so from here on out it's talking on the phone all day. Listening to music. And hitting it hard on having just plain fun. But anyways... I wanted to have Justin and I go to the beach to kick start his summer BUT my grandma said no it was too last minute to get out there. So I asked to have him over instead. I called Jaymie since she got out of finals early and found out her and Zack were walking back to her place from her school which is like a 3 hour walk ahahaha. So I was like hey maybe us four can hang? She said sure. I picked up Justin around 2:15 and we went grocery shopping for our big cook out that night. Me and Justin held hands and picked out the noodle dish and got the soda. Then looked at magazines until my grandma reappeared at the front of the store. We went home and went on a bike ride. All 4 of us. Jaymie. Zack. Justin. Desiree. It was soo fun. It was an amazing day. I felt so free and summery :D The wind in my newly trimmed straightened hair. Wearing shorts and a tank top. Justin and I played What If? It's our new game. One what if question after the other. We may have even finished the whole book.

Desiree=What if you were an angel?
Justin=You already are.

We rode our bikes to Dairy Queen before supper. Ate the cherry stuff off the dipped cone and then threw the rest in the trash and rode home as fast as we could to not get caught having dessert first. Grilled out hot dogs and hamburgers. Rode bikes again. Went in the soccer field. Sat in his lap. Got a foot massage from him. Played tether ball together. Napoleon Dynamite style. Got a million piggy back rides from him.

Funny Piggy Back Moment:
Justin=One,Two, Three
Desiree=gets scared and pushes him on accident when trying to jump on him
Justin=falls on the ground
Desiree=laughs:)

It was a great night. We ended it stopping at Michelle's house to pick up a coupon. Then going out to my grandma's work to drop off Avon. We waited in the car. The night ended with a sweet innocent kiss on the lips in the blinding light of my grandma's headlights. Hmm did she put on those brights? :P jk

Saturday=I woke up early. Showered. Went to Pat's house. She asked me to help her with a rummage sale. The money we raised in it. She said Wendy would put towards Wanda. The girl I used to sponsor but the youth group started sponsoring. So I went. It rained once or twice. But I didn't mind putting the stuff back in the garage and out. I got used to how to set up the puzzles :) For lunch. I had a ham sandwich on that super healthy wheat bread. The rest of their pringles. Grapes. Milk. Baby Carrots. It started to get really sunny out and I got his crazy farmers tan thanks to my opting to wear a t-shirt. Got some reading done. Pat talked to me. About me. And Justin. About what we wanted to be when we grow up. Bought this purple necklace and a highlighter from the sale. Went home. Called Jaymie to ask her to come with me to baby Ethan's 1st birthday but she was hanging out with Zack. So I went on my own. Poured my grandma's juice for her. As if I was the hostess of the effing party. Went home. Called Justin. Called Jaymie. Asked her to sleepover. She finally came over at around 9:30 because she was with Zack. Went to bed.

Sunday=Woke up. Got dressed in my purple skirt and white top. An outfit I hated. Wore that new purple necklace though. Bob's last Sunday. He brought doughnuts. I'll have pictures up later. I ate the sprinkley long kind. Got good and messy with frosting all over my lips/face. Talked about chatting with God and I really got it down this time. C=confess. H=honor. A=ask. T=thank. It was really sad. I'll miss Bob as a youth leader. He was really good. I don't care what they say. Even Justin thinks so. He said Bob was such a good guy. It's like he's dead or something. Got yelled at for using a "toy" aka that highlighter I bought. Sang the special. Ate a whole bunch of food at VBS training lunch. Jaymie and I are gonna be crew leaders. She left to go out to eat since her dad's birthday was Monday. When she got home she called me. We made our VBS shirts all jazzy. Then we begged both my grandma and her dad to go out and buy us fabric paint to make our names on the back and paw prints. But they were broke. And Michael's closed like the very second we checked their hours. I went home. Went to bed.

Monday=nothing really. cleaned. talked to Justin. got yelled at. end of day.

Today=Woke up. Called Justin. Slept. Cleaned. Called Justin again. Got ready to walk with my schizophrenic aunt Cindy up to Culver's. My mom called me. To say Hi. And play a clip from Expedition Africa that we think is funny. She made me late:) I walked. And walked. I had a really bad Charlie horse. But I knew Cindy would think something bad happened to me. So I kept walking. I ordered a Butter Burger Basket. With cheese curds. Got vanilla custard with cookie dough and Reese's peanut butter cups. It was yummy. Cindy wanted to go to the mall then. I think she is thinking about what to buy me for my birthday. Check the counter folks;) We went through Penney's. And Claire's and other stores. She took me in that old person store C.J. Banks. I took her in American Eagle. We went through Boston Store. We parted at Target. She went into go to the bathroom. I went home. My feet burn. I have a blister. The size of a quarter. On each foot. I get home. I collapse. I go online. Find a song for a special with Justin. We are singing slow fade. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-8SYA6rfbs There's the link to it. But stick with me a bit:) The video's kinda sad by the way. Justin is learning the guitar. I'm downloading the piano sheet music tomorrow. I might have Holly sing the last verse where the little kid sings. He leaves to go talk with his youth pastor over coffee. I go play my piano. I call my mom. Have her listen to me. The last time she has heard me play piano I was still in like my first lesson book. I go back on the computer. Beg my grandma to buy more piano sheet music. I really actually like playing my piano. It's fun. I call Jaymie. See what she is doing. I make an assumption. "are you with Zack?" And make a correct one. "yeah" I ask if they want to bike ride with me in the rain. We end up walking her dogs. We stand under my Umbrella-ella-ella-a-a-a. Under my Umbrella-ella-ella-a-a-a-a-a-a:) ahaha. Then I go home. Call Justin quick. Hang up quicker when grandma pulls in the driveway. Eat Burger King. AND POST :D

wow. that took forever! But now you are all caught up for tomorrow :) later folks.

Better Than The Notebook... (justin in blue) [dez in pink]

2009-06-11T06:13:00.000-07:00

I love you Desiree Miilu says: do you realize how hard it is for me i mean all i ever saw all my life were relationships that failed because people cant keep a commitment and they cant be open and honest and they cant stick with just one person its hard to believe the opposite for me i mean it is very very hard...... but its not you......its a struggle i deal with day and day and it sucks to feel that way Dezzy Miilu says: i promise you that i will show you that relationships work. that love is real. that it lasts forever. i want to show you everything you saw is wrong. i will show you that i can commit to you. and be true forever. you dont need to be afraid. i know its hard but i want to do this because i love you and you deserve to be shown what real love is. and baby we have it. and im not giving it up. no matter what.