Un-name-able [is that a word?]

Listening To:

• Alone in this Bed- Framing Hanley
• 23 Days- Framing Hanley
• Hold On- Jonas Brothers
• Scream- Tokio Hotel

April 30, 2009 1:00 PM That's around the exact time that my great grandpa died. It was still a shock even though I know he had to die sometime. I don't know what it is but I felt like he was invincible. Like he'd always be around. He would never die. But of course I'm wrong like always. And he died April 30. I feel kind of guilty. I feel like I should've visited him more. But I have all the good memories. The times I decorated his wheelchair with peppermint garland and me and Justin wrapped his door with shiny wrapping paper at Christmastime and everyone loved it. The time I insisted I would put an eye patch on him and make his wheelchair into a boat and I would push him around in the neighborhood for Trick-Or-Treating and he could use all the candy to bribe the nurses to take him to the bathroom first. All the time I would play my piano for him. And he'd yell "play it again!". The way he used to scare kids when we went out to eat. I'm actually really going to miss him. But moving on... I've been thinking alot about life. And I think we really just need to really live it up. Have the moments of our lives. Because we only have one life to live. Do all you can! Prove everyone wrong!

Currently in My Life:

• Justin turned 18 on April 26 and I got to spend it with him at the mall. Our new favorite store is Boston Store. Jaymie was there too and I made up a game where we all had to try to find the ugliest outfit. Justin was the champion repeatedly!
• Yesterday was my 10 monthaversary! It was crazy thinking about being with him for TEN MONTHS! It's nuts. We went to my school play and it was totally ackward because I wanted to kiss him but my school is all goody-goody. And everyone there knows little goody-goody Desiree. (Well most who know me know that's all a lie). But pretty much at my school to kiss your boyfriend your like a slut. AND Me and Justin were kissing at the end and we heard someone and it was Kurt and he was like "Ooooh Desiree!" and I was TOTALLY embarassed I mean he's like my brother. idk? maybe I'm weird.

Thoughts:

1. I wonder if Justin or Jaymie are up?
2. I think Jaymie should give Reggin Z another chance like she is.
3. I really need to go prom dress shopping its like in 2 weeks!
4. I procrastinate

OMG I had this crazy abs dream last night. It's really hard to explain but I lived in this trench or something but when I walked out you needed to take a skateboard to go through this like skateboard park that was the neighborhood and there were all these restaurants. My Uncle Joe was my dad. And some random lady who he's not even married to now was my mom. They had this baby stroller that was like a skateboard with a tiny baby in it. The first part of it Jaymie was with us and we were at a water park and Jaymie and I fell in this toilet bowl like ride and were stuck. Then it was like flash-forward and all of us were digging through cookie dough for hidden bombs and I remember this fat guy was supposed to be helping but all he wanted to do was eat. LOL.

Now that your fully weirded out I need to go fill the dishwasher

LOVE Dezzy